This Love
by ThatOneMsft
Summary: Dean has had a growing interest in Castiel ever since the eighth grade, and Castiel has been interested in Dean for as long as he can remember. An unexpected string of chance events brings these two, and their respective groups of friends, closer than ever. But, every relationship has its problems, and every person has their secrets. High School AU.
1. Heartbeat

**This is my first Supernatural fanfiction, and I'm also working another at the same time so this definitely won't be the last. Please bare with me here, and don't be afraid to leave some constructive criticism in a review. **

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**Chapter 1- Heartbeat**

**Dean's P.O.V.**

I rake in short breaths matching the pace of my erratic heartbeat. My throat felt like it was closing, like I couldn't get enough air in time to save my own life. I was also getting slightly dizzy, like I was going to pass out. Soft, yet firm hands cup either side of my face, holding my head in place and I jump at the contact.

"Dean." The voice was deep, I would've said too deep for our age, but the strain of puberty made it crack as it whispered my name. "Dean, look at me."

I did as the voice said, and was met with the brightest, most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. I sucked in a deep breath as I took in the rest of their face. Soft, angular features that would fill out nicely when we were older and-

_Stop it, Dean. This is a dude you're looking at._ I mentally shake out all the inappropriate thoughts I was having about the boy in front of me, when I realized he was speaking to me.

"Its okay Dean. We're gonna be okay. Just," he grabs my hand, placing it on his chest, "match my breaths, okay?" Let's just say the placement of my hand did nothing good for my already unhealthy heartbeat. He started to take in slow, deep breaths, and I did my best to imitate him, all while staring into those gorgeous eyes. _Dammit, Dean._

Soon, breathing became easier and my throat started to expand to its normal size again. My heartbeat slowed, but as I noticed how close our bodies were and how nonchalantly my pinky was resting on Cas' nipple it started to pick up again.

_Holy sh- no Dean just don't think about it. Think about other things, like rainbows, ponies, your bitch of a brother Sam, the fact that you just said rainbows and ponies in the same sentence, your favorite color. Blue. Cas' eyes are blue. Dammit, don't think about colors at all!_ Life was so much easier a year ago before I started having these thoughts about dudes. Puberty be damned.

"Are you okay now?" Cas' words pulled me out of my unpleasant reverie.

"Yeah, I-um. I'm fine." I choked out. "Sorry if I scared you." I blushed and looked away, suddenly very aware that Cas had just witnessed one of my panic attacks.

"No worries, Dean. Jimmy suffers from panic attacks too." There was a comfortable silence between us for a few moments, and I was still painfully aware of our closeness.

"Cas?" It came out as a breathy whisper, and he just looked cocked his head in question. "You can let go of my face now." His eyes widen ever-so slightly, and he removes his hands from my face, standing up and taking a few steps back.

"My apologies." I could tell he was embarrassed, yet his intense gaze never left my face. I use the tree I was sitting against to hoist myself up and dust off the back of my favorite jeans. "How long have you been having panic attacks?"

My head snaps up at the question, and rack my brain for a way to avoid the actual answer. "I, uh. I don't know. They come and go I guess. And seeing that wolf drooling over our meat really didn't help." I answer lamely, shrugging. He stares at me, eyes basically searching my damn soul. Coughing, I pick up my camping bag and take a look at the woods around us. "Dude, how the hell are we gonna get back? We're in the middle of nowhere." I have no idea which way we came from or even where the campsite was.

"I don't know. We probably shouldn't have wandered away in the first place." He voice wasn't accusatory, but I knew it was my fault. If I wouldn't have stopped to take a leak and ensured Cas we could catch up with group, we wouldn't be in this situation. Now we were lost in the woods-most likely with _more_ wild animals- with no way of contacting the rest of our class.

"Sorry Cas." I mumbled. He stops scanning the woods and brings his eyes back to mine. He was wearing a small, reassuring smile.

"Not your fault. Just because you have a piss-poor excuse for a bladder and judgement of distances doesn't mean any of this is your fault." His smile turned into a sarcastic smirk, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Gee, thanks for the reassurance."

"Anytime, Dean."

After we finished our little laughing fit, we headed off. I don't know how long we walked, could've been an hour or two, but we suddenly came to a river. The mist from the running water creating a gentle breeze in the hot summer air.

"Well, since we aren't going to find anyone or be found anytime soon, might as well have some fun." I smirked at Cas and dropped my bag, pulling my shirt over my head. I heard a soft gasp come from Cas' direction, and turned him, eyebrow raised.

"Wh-what are you doing?" He stuttered looking anywhere but at me as I slid my jeans off.

"Well I'm not gonna skinny dip, if that's what you're worried about." I chuckled lightly as I jumped in the water, some of it splashing on Cas.

He was blushing and looked slightly uncomfortable for some reason. I couldn't help but wonder..._ Not a chance, Dean. There's no way he'd be having the same weird thoughts as you._ I sighed, knowing the voice was right. Someone like Cas wouldn't be interested in someone like me. _Interested? When did this bum-rush of gay thoughts suddenly turn into _interest?

"Come on, Cas. Don't be shy. We're both guys right? Same as changing in the locker room." Unfortunately, that one statement brought even more inappropriate thoughts about Cas, but it seemed to comfort him. He sat his bag down beside mine, starting to take of his shoes and socks. My heartbeat started racing again when he pulled his shirt over his head. I bit my lip and turned around when he took off his pants, not even wanting to know what my mind would do with that sight.

Then, there was splash next to me, and Cas was resurfacing, shaking is wet, unruly hair. There was a smile on his face, and before I knew, water was smacking me in the eye as he splashed me. We laughed, splashing back in forth in an all out war. We finally stopped, clearing our eyes so we could see. We both sat there smiling and laughing, as I discreetly made my way closer. He seemed shocked to see me so close, and I used that to my advantage, pouncing on him and holding his head underwater. When I let go, he resurfaced shockingly close, so close that our faces were practically touching.

Neither of us moved. Blue eyes met my green ones in a long staring contest. Subconsciously, my eyes flickered down to his light pink lips, making me lick my own. I could hear his breath hitch, we were so close. Slowly lifting my gaze, I saw that he was doing the same thing, eyes still trained on my lips. I decided to swallow my pride and do want I've been wanting to all year. I started leaning in, and his eyes shot back up, staring wide-eyed. I closed my eyes when our lips were almost touching, preparing myself. Then, hands were on top of my head, and I was pushed under.

Ice cold water engulfed my body, and I shot up out of bed in shock. I heard the clattering of a metal bucket, and then my door slammed. _I'm gonna kill him._

"Sammy!" I shouted and darted out of the room, following Sam's fast moving footsteps. "I'm gonna freakin' murder you!"

"Bobby told me to do it!" He cried from downstairs, and I heard soft chuckles. I ran downstairs and into Bobby's kitchen, fuming and dripping wet in only my sweatpants.

"Good job, boy. I see ya got his pants this time." Bobby clapped Sam on the back, chuckling.

"Really, Bobby? Really?!" I gestured up and down at my soaked body. "Was this really called for?" I inquired, even more pissed about the dream that they interrupted. Memory, actually. A memory that manifests itself as a dream more often than I'd like to admit. Despite the fact that I was rejected by Cas, it was still a good memory, as well as the rest of it that was so rudely cut off by the jackasses I call my brother and uncle.

"Well, seeing as it's currently 8:03, school starts at 8:45 and it takes at least a half hour to get there from here, yeah it was necessary." Bobby scoffed. "Now get your ass ready and get this boy to school ya idjit." He returns to his coffee and newspaper, and Sam relaxes with his breakfast when I roll my eyes and turn around.

"Hurry up Dean I don't wanna be late on the first day!"

"Shut up, bitch." I call from the stairs.

"Jerk!" Is the last thing I hear before entering the bathroom.

* * *

I don't even want to think about how many traffic laws I broke to get to school with five minutes to spare. Before I could even put my baby in park, Sam was out of the car and running. The whole ride was a painful twenty-two minutes of Sam bitching about how this was only his first day of high school and I was already making him late. But hey, that's what bitches do; they bitch. I finished parking the car at the same time I saw my four best friends entering the other side of the parking lot. Just as I was going to walk over to them, Sam came sprinting back towards me.

"What's up Sammy?" I was sure the little nerd would be sitting up front in homeroom ready to kiss some teacher ass by now.

"Dean, I-I," He looked flustered and conflicted, as if he didn't want to say whatever was on his mind. He sighs. "I don't know where my homeroom is, and I don't wanna be late." He says softly. Its odd that the kid's practically my height and still manages to look small with those big puppy eyes. Odd, and irritating.

"Fine I'll walk you, but don't expect me to hold your hand." I smirk.

"Shut up Dean." He punches me in shoulder, and I've got to say, this kid has an arm on him.

"Sam. Dean. Sam and Dean." Ash calls from behind us, along with Charlie, Jo and Benny. "I guess we aren't the only ones riding the late train." Ash, Charlie, Jo and I all grew up in this small town and have been best friends for as long as I can remember. Benny moved here the summer before ninth grade, and he instantly clicked with our little group. The five of us have been virtually inseparable ever since.

"'Sup guys." I say as we bump fists.

"Hey guys." Sam mutters impatiently.

"Sorry can't talk gotta walk Sammy to class." I say hurriedly. They all murmur 'see ya later's' and such as I walk my little brother to class. By the time I knew Sam was settled and ready for his first class, the bell had already rung and I was late for homeroom. I sprinted to the other side of the school and slowed when I got close to the room. Putting on my best 'I don't give a crap' expression, I strolled into the room and past the teacher, Zachariah (because no one gives a shit about calling him his last name) to a seat in the back between Jo and Benny.

"Mr. Winchester," he drawls out in that annoying voice of his,"I'm actually starting to believe that its a tradition for you to get detention on the first day of class. So, since you can't find the time to make it before the first bell, you may stay after the last." I roll my eyes as he hands me the pink detention slip with a cocky grin on his face. What I would give to be the one that knocks it off permanently.

"Aw, Zachariah. I guess its just hard to get to school on time when I know the first thing I'm gonna see is that Halloween mask you call your face. Luckily its my last year so we'll be rid of each other soon." I flash a sickly grin to match his own, and he settles for glaring at me and strides back to the front of the class. I huff out a breath as Jo and Benny laugh quietly on either side of me.

"Can you two not spend a year fantasizing about ripping out the other's spine through their mouth?" Jo giggles.

"Or pushing each other into the fires of Hell?" Benny adds.

"Aw, you guys know me so well." I cooed. "And maybe if the guy wasn't such a bag of dicks there wouldn't be a problem. I swear he just hates me for some reason." I slouch down in my seat, taking out my notebook and making myself comfortable since we're staying for first period.

"You would think Dean wouldn't have a problem with dicks." Jo says as I reach into my bag. Benny outright laughs and tries -and fails- to cover it with a cough when I glare at him halfheartedly.

"What was that Harvelle?" She grins innocently. "You don't see me making any sarcastic remarks about sticking your face in Charlie's crotch, now do you?" She gapes at me, mouth open in shock while Benny snickers.

"Didn't think we knew about that sweetheart?" He adds in is smooth Louisiana accent.

"H-how did you.." She trails off. I flash one of my signature smirks.

"Ash tells me you guys have _really_ thin walls. And think of his surprise when one of his best friends was screaming out his sister's name, and vice versa." Jo blanches and stutters as she tries to find something to say. Not finding her words, she settles for crosses her arms and sliding down in her seat.

"Screw you guys." She mumbles, a small smile on her face. Benny and I just chuckle and fist bump, right as first period starts.

My first four periods went by in blur. Luckily I had one of my friends in every class so I wouldn't die of boredom. As much as I hate to admit it, at the beginning of every class I was practically on the edge of my seat hoping to see a certain blue-eyed boy with natural sex hair. To my disappointment, he never showed. It's actually kind of sad how borderline obsessed I've become with Castiel over the years. Ever since that camping trip in eighth grade I've been pining after him without a shred of decency, all without him even noticing or acknowledging anything happened. We were always friendly, but never actually friends. Even if this is the kind of town where everyone knows everyone growing up, its like we never really got the chance, or tried to get to know each other. So I can understand his reluctance to speak to me, no matter how much it hurts. I don't even understand why it sends waves of depression through my body when he doesn't quite look or talk to me, but I'd rather not delve into those parts of my brain, afraid of what I might find.

By the time fifth period came around, I'd come to terms with the fact that I might not be seeing Castiel, except for at lunch. Even that couldn't be promised. I solemnly walked into fifth period AP Calculus and took a seat in the back, stewing in my self pity. I barely acknowledged the bell ringing and the teacher drawling on and on -something about numbers and shit, I'm guessing- when the door swung open. I held my breath as I trailed my eyes up the boy's body. Snug fitting dark blue jeans, a gray tee shirt and a shiny new leather jacket. Dark unruly hair topped of his look, and I sat there in anticipation, knowing the only other empty seat in class was right next to mine. I couldn't see his face as he looked in his backpack for something while facing the teacher's desk, but I know it could only be one of two people, and I hoped, _prayed_ it was Cas.

"You may take a seat Mr. Novak." Ms. Tapping says with a smile. A _genuine_ smile. That woman could win Ms. Bitch of the Universe hands down and she had the nerve to be smiling. It's no secret she favors the Novak family, but honestly, could she be anymore obvious?

A light, airy laugh comes from the boy's lips and my heart sinks. "Sure thing Ms. Tapping." He had a light voice to match his laugh. He turns around, a bright smile on his face and in long, confident strides, makes his way to the back of the class. Looking up into his eyes I confirmed what I already knew. I was met with softer, lighter blue almost gray eyes that twinkled with mischief. It wasn't Cas, but his identical twin Jimmy.

"Dean Winchester, AP Calculus. If this is the Twilight Zone, I really hope it's the black and white version. The newer one sucks ass." He plops down noisily in the seat next to me, all sarcastic tone and playful smirking.

"I bet you'd know a lot about sucking ass, Jimmy. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two?" I retort.

"Definitely. I'll make sure to take detailed notes next time I'm on my corner shift." He chuckles and winks at me, causing me to laugh too.

"I knew you were a cheap whore! That would explain the outfit." We laugh and I pull the collar of his leather jacket. "Dude, you do know that leather went out of style when I stopped wearing it right? Or are you trying to become the new 'Winchester heartthrob'?" I put air quotes around the ridiculous title I've heard being used over the years.

"Still as charming as ever, Dean. Nice to see you haven't changed. And if you must know, this," he gestures to his jacket, "came as a package deal with that." He points out the window into the school parking lot. On the edge closest to the school sat two glossy, sleek Ducatis -one black and blue the other black and red- next to what I recognized as Balthazar's Benz.

"Dude! That is fucking awesome! What the hell goes on when you're in Scotland? Last time you came back with a person." I tear my eyes away from the window and stare at him incredulously.

"Early graduation present, courtesy of our ridiculously rich grandparents." He grins like an idiot. "And for the record, I am in no way responsible for the shit that happens when we go up there. I swear its like every time we come back Cassie isn't the same anymore." Of course, the mentioning of Castiel peaks my interest.

"What do y-"

"Mr. Winchester, although I'm sure it's quite normal for you to disrupt each and every classroom you enter, I think Mr. Novak would appreciate it if you stopped distracting him from his work. Or do I have to give you _another_ detention today?" God, I hate this woman. Let's not even mention the fact that she completely disregarded the fact that Jimmy was talking just as loud as I was.

"Not at all, Ms. Tapping." I respond through clenched teeth, while Jimmy stifles quiet laughter behind his hand.

"Dude she hates you." He whispers when she turns back around.

"Yeah no shit Sherlock." With that, we both stay silent for the rest of the period, exchanging a few words in goodbye when it ends.

I like Jimmy, everyone does. He's the kind of guy anyone can be friends with, what with his generally charming personality and energetic spirit. As long as you make a good first impression on him, he'll talk to you and joke around like you've known each other for years. He's the type of person who likes anyone and everyone, so if he says he doesn't his judgement is always trusted. Outgoing, energetic, loud, playful and funny, much like their eccentric little brother Gabriel, only nowhere near as annoying.

With Jimmy being the way he is, everyone thinks Castiel to be the opposite because he's more reserved. From what I can tell, during the last few years or so Cas had become more and more reluctant to put himself out there. He used to be a lot like Jimmy, outgoing and free-spirited, but now tends to save that part of himself for a very select few. I'd give anything to know why and be one of those people he can open up to, but I'm not. And that frustrates me. I zoned in and out of Economics, wishing for this life-sucking abyss they call school to be over, or at least for it to be lunch so I can get some grub. Totally nothing to do with hopefully seeing Castiel. Not at all.

Before the shrill sound of the bell was even over, I had my backpack in hand practically running out the door.

"Oh come on, Dean. Eco wasn't that bad." Charlie pipes in, falling in step beside.

"Yeah, you're just saying that because you were ogling Ms. Braeden's boobs the whole time." I snort. Couldn't really blame her, Ms. Braeden was hot _and_ young. If I wasn't currently pining after someone who had no interest in my existence- a guy, nonetheless- I'd probably be admiring her full curves and soft lips as well.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm shameless." I look down at her, and we both laugh because its true. Charlie seriously has no shame. She could get caught staring in the most lustful ways and still have the nerve to smile and flirt with the same person.

"One of these days you're gonna get caught staring at some man-woman's girlfriend or being someone's prison bitch, my little hacker." I pinch her cheeks and she swats me away.

"Are you suggesting my genius hacking skills will fail at some point, Mr. 'what's wrong with internet explorer'?" She arches her eyebrows at me and I groan.

"You and Sam are never gonna let that go, are you?" I sling my arm around Charlie as we head into the the cafeteria for lunch.

"No chance in hell." Yeah I figured as much.

Our usual table was a six-seat round table sat in the center of the lunchroom. It's been kind of a tradition to sit here ever since Ash and Benny decided to carve our nicknames into the table, along with a bunch of other inappropriate drawings and inside jokes.

"Dean! Charlie! Get your flowery asses over here!" Ash's greetings never cease to amaze me, and apparently Charlie feels the same way as she rolls her eyes and with sit down next to each other. I drop my bag on floor and decide to see what Ash wants before going to get some food.

"Sup Ashland, what's the word?" He stops shoving his face full of Ellen's chicken casserole for a moment as his eyes flicker toward Jo and Benny. They all exchange conflicted expressions, as if not wanting to tell me something.

"Did I forget to turn the sexy off again?" I gasp and turn dramatically to Charlie, mock concern filling my voice.

"Dean, we both know you have no control over it. But I believe in you, and one day, you will be able to become ugly at will!" She sobs into my shoulder as I shake with laughter.

"No seriously guys, something you'd care to share?" I look hard and pointedly at Benny, knowing he cracks under the slightest of pressure while the Harvelle's could basically live in poker faces and denial. Yet, Ash is the one who breaks the silence.

"Word in the grapevine is that Sammy boy's been having a bit of a rough day." I stiffen at the thought of my little brother being picked on.

"Define 'rough day'. Am I gonna end up in jail for child abuse?" I pull out my wallet and count the bills.

"Only if you're willing to hurt the man of your dreams' little brother." Jo pipes in, smirking into her casserole.

"Gabriel Novak is picking on my brother? Sam's like twice his size now." I quirk an eyebrow at her and she just smiles triumphantly.

"Let the records show that Dean Winchester just admitted to Castiel Novak being the man of his dreams." She announces and I roll my eyes.

"As if you didn't already know, Harvelle." Jo had been the first one I told about mine and Cas' near-kiss and how I felt about the matter. She was also the first I told about the fact that I dreamed about that day frequently which Charlie gave me crap about. Something about favoritism or some shit.

"Yeah, but it still makes me feel victorious when you admit it out loud."

"So about Sam?" I question, just as the overgrown pre-teen plops down between Benny and Charlie.

"_Sam_," he says bitterly, "is pissed." He pulls his lunch out of his bag and begins to stab at his salad ferociously. "High school sucks just as much as middle school, thanks to that fucker Gabriel." He fumes in his seat. I don't even think to comment on his language, seeing as hanging with me and my friends probably doesn't set the best example.

"Is Gabriel picking on you, Sammy? Cause I have no problem kicking the kid's teeth in." His eyes snap up to meet mine, lettuce hanging out of his mouth. I try my hardest not to laugh at his current face. Then I take in his appearance; his long brown hair looks as if he's been running his fingers through it constantly, there are dried paint streaks on parts of his arms and hands, and the plaid button up he had been wearing this morning is gone, leaving him with the black t-shirt he was wearing underneath. He looks completely distraught and irritated.

"Gabriel doesn't pick on me, I could obviously kick his little leprechaun ass up and down this school if I wanted. He just takes pleasure in annoying and pranking me to no end just to get a reaction that I refuse to give to him."

"Speaking of the little devil," Benny points to my left at the entrance of the cafeteria, "there he is now."

"Ugh, seriously?! I've spent almost a whole day with him and now he has to have the same lunch as me too?" My breath catches as I turn my head to look at the entrance of the cafeteria. I tune out whatever conversation my friends and brother started having as my attention drifts elsewhere.

Walking in like they had all the time in the world, (with the kind of money their family has they probably _could_ _buy_ all the time in the world) were Gabriel, Balthazar, Jimmy and -wait for it- Castiel Novak. I suppress the urge to bite my lip as I take in Castiel's attire, blocking out the rest of his family. He wore basically the same thing as Jimmy, only with black jeans and a white shirt and boy, did those jeans look good on him; snug in all the right places. I almost wished he was walking the opposite way so I could catch a glimpse of ass. _Okay now you're just being a creep._ While Balthazar and Jimmy were greeting people with nods, inaudible comments and handshakes, Cas had his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, a distant, exhausted look in his eyes. You know when someone points something out to you and then you just can't help but notice it from that point on? Yeah well that's exactly the way I felt as I took in his stiff posture and unwillingness to look anywhere but the floor. _  
_

_It's like every time we come back Cassie isn't the same anymore. _That's what Jimmy had said while absently talking about their summer trips to Scotland. Like I said before, Castiel has become more and more reserved, but he's always happy and bubbly when around his family and close friends, and if someone says hi or anything it wasn't like him to not even acknowledge their existence. Which was exactly what he was doing right now. As if feeling my analyzing gaze, his electrical blue eyes meet my jade green ones and a small barely-there smile replaces the deep frown he was wearing. I give him a genuine smile and nod in direction, which he doesn't return and promptly refocuses his gaze on the floor. As usual. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my heart and settle for a soft sigh.

"And so it begins." Ash declares. I break my gaze away from the beautiful sight in front of me just as they turn to walk to their usual table with their friends Chuck Shurley and Kevin Tran by the east side windows.

"What?" I question, genuinely lost in my thoughts.

"You look at him, he looks at you-" Ash starts, "You smile at him, he looks away as if the eye contact can cause genital herpes. And per usual, the sexual tension between the two of you continues to grow." Charlie so bluntly finishes for him. Before I can even get a word in about there being no sexual tension between me and Cas, Benny keeps the ball rolling in this embarrassing conversation.

"Agreed on the sexual tension, but I don't think genital herpes is severe enough for this situation. I think gonorrhea might work better." I groan.

"Not helping man." They just continue as if I said nothing.

"Nah gonorrhea's still too soft. Maybe AIDS better describes it." Jo ponders. It's times like these when I really hate my friends.

"Yeah I'm down for AIDS, what with its fatality and all." Ash adds in, while Sam sniggers into his apple juice.

"Or maybe breast cancer, since the tension turns the both of them into scared little bitches." Everyone laughs harder at Charlie's last statement.

"Okay, as much fun as it is trying to figure out what STD my making eye contact with Cas causes, I think I'll just exit this conversation." I get up and walk briskly to the lunch area, ignoring their amusement laced apologies. I grab two chicken sandwiches, chocolate pudding, a package of chocolate chip cookies and a Nestea. Damn this school for not offering pie. The lunch area is closer to the Novak's table, and I use the time waiting in line with my food to totally not spy on Castiel.

I'm on the line for a good five minutes before I reach the register, and the sophomore behind it raises a questioning eyebrow at my mountain of food.

"Growing boys have got to eat right? And I happen to believe I'm a _very_ big boy." My voice dies down into a seductive whisper as I lean against the counter.

"That'll be eight dollars." She giggles, her face tinting a rosy pink. As I hand her the money I brush my fingers along her smaller hands, and she flushes even darker. I pick food and wink at her as I walk back toward my table, leaving a chorus of giggles behind me. I roll my eyes. Girls are just too easy these days. Maybe that's why I'm seeking the attention of a much leaner, muscular, and by all means, _male_ body. I want something new, something different. Something _refreshing. _So naturally, my body chooses the most beautiful yet attainable option there is.

"Oh my god, now he's drowning his sorrows in high calorie content." Sam narrows his eyes at my choice of food as I sit back in my seat. I rip open one of the chicken sandwiches, taking a very inhuman size bite.

"Not every one eats rabbit food like you Sammy." I say around a mouthful of chicken and bread, some of it flinging out of my mouth. I'm way too hungry to even care.

"Dude come on, that's-"

"GAHHHH!" Two low-pitched, obviously male screams come from the east side of the already loud and crowded cafeteria, and I lean back in my chair to peer past Jo and Ash.

Jimmy and Cas were standing a few feet away from their table fuming, horrified and angry expressions on their faces. Gabriel sat at the opposite side of the table, laughing uncontrollably and snapping pictures with his iPhone. Most of the cafeteria just goes about its business, already quite used to Novak antics, while others watch with amusement and curiosity, including my entire table.

"Gabriel, you little shit!" Cas roars, blue eyes burning like dry ice. Jimmy doesn't really look any better, but he wasn't as intense as Cas. Gabriel freezes, swallowing his laughter as their gazes lock with his.

"Gabe, we haven't even been home for twelve hours and you're already starting this bullshit!" Jimmy lunges for Gabriel, who takes off running through the cafeteria, the twins hot on his heels. Balthazar just sits there eating his lunch without care in the world, chatting idly with Kevin and Chuck, who were equally as calm.

"Five bucks says they don't catch him." Ash says as Gabriel swerves around his older brothers and sprints out into the outdoor caf.

"You're so on. There's no way he's gonna get away, not with the blood lust in their eyes." Jo says with a smirk. She smacks a five dollar bill on top of Ash's.

"Kid's a crafty one, I think I'll go with Ash on this one."

"Yeah me too." Benny and Sam place their own bills on the table.

"I'm going with whatever Charlie says. She does have the most experience with them." I point out. "Whaddaya say Charles?" She punches me in the shoulder, rolling her eyes.

"I say, Gabriel's gonna get his ass kicked." We place our bills in the pile.

"Looks like battle lines have been drawn my friends." Ash drawls out in that lazy tone only he can manage. "Speaking of battle lines, wanna tell us how long you two have been fucking?' He smirks at his sister, who starts choking on her Pepsi, and gestures between her and Charlie. Charlie just gets this deer caught in the headlights look, while all of us guys just laugh.

"What the hell does that have to do with battle lines?" Jo splutters when her choking calms down.

"I didn't wanna just drop it in the conversation. That would be rude." Ash shrugs. I would swear he was high right now if I didn't know his policy against lighting up in school.

"BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU JUST DID!" Jo exclaims, bewildered. She smacks him upside the head with her now empty Pepsi bottle.

"Well excuse me, little miss technicality." He rubs the back of his head. Before Jo can yell at him anymore, Gabriel comes sprinting back inside making a beeline for our table, knocking over people and garbage cans in the process.

"Samsquatch!" He yells as he stops next to Sam, who groans and squeezes his eyes shut. "You gotta help me hide." He says breathlessly.

"No." Sam goes back to finishing his lunch.

"Well why not?" Gabriel huffs. He starts scanning the caf nervously.

"Maybe because you decided to use my back as a canvas in art today? Maybe because you turned my book bag inside out when I went to the bathroom in English? Oh wait, I know. Maybe because I genuinely don't like you?" Sam lists everything off in a bored, off-handed tone, unlike the one he used earlier when he got here. Gabriel just huffs out in annoyance as a response.

"Yeah, yeah. You're breaking my heart here Samsquatch, really." He says sarcastically as he scampers under the table.

"Samsquatch?" Benny asks, chuckling slightly. Sam glares at him.

"I will castrate you." Benny holds his hands up in surrender, stifling the rest of his laughter.

"So does this mean we win?" Ash questions.

"Not quite." Charlie taps away at her phone, apparently texting someone. I swing my foot nonchalantly under the table, connecting it with Gabriel's thigh.

"Ow! Seriously dude?!" Gabriel groans.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I do that?" I ask innocently, kicking him harder. _That's for my little brother you asshole._ Sam raises an eyebrow at me, a small smile on lips, and I wink at him.

"I will take the term 'ankle biter' to a whole new level if you don't stop that Winchester." Gabriel growls, and I just laugh.

At that moment, Jimmy and Cas come storming back into the indoor caf, the anger only slightly lessened over the past few minutes. The way they were walking with such purpose you would think...

"Oh my god." I mutter. Jo and Charlie laugh on either side of me, while I fidget nervously and try to make myself as invisible as possible. Unfortunately because this world just loves torturing me, they both end up stopping next to me and Jo.

"Where is he?" Cas breathed. Charlie smiles broadly and points downward. Before I can even register what's happening so I can move out of the way, Cas brushes past and reaches under the table to grab his little brother, his leather clad shoulder rubbing against my side. An odd warmth spreads through my body at his touch, and instantly stiffen, eyes slightly widened. A barrage of thoughts all slam into me at once, the loudest screaming; _I wonder how that would feel without clothes on. _Soft giggles and snickers radiate around the table, and I fix each every one of them with death glares.

"H-hey Cas. Jimmy. How about we put this whole dispute behind us like good families? Ya know, Brady Bunch, Full House style?" Gabriel proposes as Cas holds up his torso while Jimmy picks up his legs.

"I don't think so Gaby." Jimmy chuckles darkly. "Thanks Charlie." He nods in her direction.

"You ratted me out?! I thought we were cool Charles!" He continues to struggle while yelling at Charlie, who just smiles a devilish grin.

"That's what you get for rigging my sprinklers to turn on every time I set foot on my own stairs, you little twerp." I've got to hand it to the kid that was a good prank. I still remember when I dropped Charlie off one day and she ending up soaking wet before she even reached her front door. I, being wonderful friend I am, laughed and took pictures to post on Instagram. She tried to murder me when she found out of course, put it was pretty much worth it.

"Just out of curiosity," Jo stopped them before they could carry him off to God knows where, "what exactly did he do?" Oh yeah. I'd been so caught up in my Cas-induced state of shock I hadn't even thought to ask.

"The little douchewad put maggots in my burger and worms in Jimmy's spaghetti." My eyes widened in horror at Cas' response, and I could hear Ash and Benny gasping. How could someone do something so horrible to a man's food?!

"You put bugs in a man's food?! How did you even manage that?" I was borderline hysterical as Charlie rubbed my back. I let my gaze flicker to Cas, who was staring intently at me. Staring. He hasn't so much as looked at me for more than three seconds at a time since the eighth grade and now he was _staring._ He didn't even break eye contact when our eyes met. He just has this unreadable look in his eyes -which were even more so remarkably blue up close- as he studied my face. I almost missed what Gabriel said in response because his gaze was so entrancing.

"Technically maggots are insects, and I have my ways Dean-o." He smiled smugly despite the predicament he was in. I still shook my head in disgust, my action mirrored by Benny and Ash. Sam, of course, wouldn't understand how wrong it is to mess with a man's food. _Especially _a burger. That's like, molesting butterflies; it shouldn't even be thought of.

"Dude that is so wrong. How could you mess with a man's food? That's like... pedophilia; it's horrible and should never be done." Glad to see Ash shares my sentiment. Kind of.

"Imagine how we feel. Oversleeping and then having your first meal of day ruined? Not cool. At all." Jimmy glares at Gabriel and then turns to his twin with the same devilish grin Charlie wore earlier, finally getting Castiel's uncomfortable but strangely enticing gaze off of me. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I believe I am." Cas returns the grin. "Now if you would excuse us, we have to take out the trash." He says towards our table, then they start carrying Gabriel off.

"Wait, what? Trash? What does he mean trash? Please don't tell you're gonna...Oh god you are, aren't you?!" Gabriel starts struggling like his life is on the line, rambling and protesting vehemently. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please don't do this. I'll give you anything you want! It was just a prank! Someone save me!" We all start laughing again, watching as Jimmy and Castiel carry the squirming and struggling Gabriel towards the nearest trashcan.

"You like playing dirty, Gabriel. We're just giving you what you want." Jimmy lifts his legs up so he's almost upside down, as Cas dangles his head over the trashcan.

"Come on guys, can't we find another way to punish me that doesn't involve smelling like the poisonous shit they serve here for days?" Gabriel pleads.

"Not a chance. This is war now Gabe." Castiel says in deep, gravelly tone before dropping him headfirst in garbage, legs dangling in the air. The caf erupts with laughter at the sight, a few whistles and cheers mixed for Jimmy and Castiel. That is, before a teacher marches over to them, sending everyone she passes an icy glare, and demands they get him out of there.

Cas goes to pull him out of the garbage can, but before he can Jimmy kicks it over, sending garbage and Gabriel sliding out. The two boys try to keep their faces sober while the teacher scribbles on an all too familiar pad of pink detention slips, handing one to each boy before stalking off. Once out of earshot, both boys burst out laughing, doing that same handshake they have been for years.

"Yo Balthy, what do say?" Jimmy calls across the caf as Gabriel attempts to remove the pieces and small containers of food from his body.

Balthazar pulls out a notebook and a black Sharpie, scribbling something on the pages. After, he stands the notebook up on the table, wearing that signature Balthazar smirk above it. On one side it had 'Gabe' written at the top and huge number nine under it. On the next page it said 'Jimbo/Cassie' with a six under it. Even covered in food and other suspicious substances Gabriel still smiles victoriously and yells something along the lines of 'In your face amateurs!' at the other two.

"What is this, like some sort of weird game for them for something?" Sam asks, nose scrunched up.

"Actually it is. It's like an extreme prank war, and every prank or retaliation gets rated on a scale of 1-10. I've seen way too much of it over the years. Gabriel pranks one of his brothers, they declare war, and its just havoc from then on. I think Gabriel learned his lesson about overdoing it when Balthazar set a circle of fire around him last year." I was stunned to hear that, but not really surprised. I've always seen their family as eccentric, but maybe they're just legitimately crazy. _Crazy could totally be one of your kinks._ God inappropriate subconscious, do you ever shut up?

"Sweeeet." There goes stoner Ash again.

"I don't know, I think you should get your neighbors checked for mental stability." Sammy shrugs, trying to be all reasonable and shit.

"Nah they're completely sane, just a little weird." She has this small, fond smile on her face, a smile she always wears when she's talking about someone close to her. "No actually scratch that. They're insane."

"Hold up!" Jo squeals on my left and all eyes focus on her twinkling ones. "Dean, didn't you get detention this morning?" She wiggles her eyebrows up and down while the realization dawns on me.

"Well fuck." I'd completely forgotten about that little Zachariah incident this morning. Now in a completely unexpected turn of events, I get to sit in an unexciting library for an hour with my crush, his lunatic brothers and whatever other behavioral head cases got stuck in detention on the first day. Oh, and my nerdy little brother considering Bobby will be at work and he has no other way to get home. That's just great.

"Aw, don't get that scared look on your face, D. Just think of it as an impromptu and completely unromantic first date with the man of your dreams and the usual head cases that are in detention. Should be fine, brother."

"Benny, you're officially fired as my inspirational pep talks man. Forever." Ignoring his deep chuckles, I look back at Jimmy, Cas and Gabriel. They all were picking pieces of food off of Gabriel garbage covered jacket and flicking them at each other.

Detention with the Novaks. This should be interesting.


	2. Detention

**I'm so sorry this took so long. I meant to have it up a ago but I had to get my laptop fixed and it's extremely annoying trying to type a 10,000+ word chapter on my tablet and/or phone. Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited, or reviewed, it really means a lot and I'm glad you guys like the story!**

**_Shouts outs to jesmille91, smp06185, AnnieWrites, LividDusk and Jessie for encouraging reviews. -ThatOneMsft_  
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**Chapter 2- Detention **

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Why the hell is it so hot in here?" The only reason I tolerate detention in the library is because of the kick-ass air conditioning and the computers. Which, we only get to use because our supervisor is a total pushover, mousy, weird kind of guy who likes to think that he's cool.

So, when Sam and I walk into the library at 3:45 -promptly fifteen minutes late, of course- you can imagine my disappointment as I was met with scorching heat mixed with the smell of dusty old books.

"The air conditioning unit has met a sad, untimely demise. We won't have a new one until next month." Garth, the detention supervisor comes out of the storage room carrying a small, dusty box. "Late as always, Dean."

"Wouldn't be me if I wasn't buddy." I plop down nosily in one of the chairs as he unpacks the box of dusty old books and Sam sits across from me.

"Who's the scrawny guy?" Sam whispers.

"That's Garth. He's a student-teacher who got roped into detention duty last year." I explained, remembering when Garth first got hired last year. "I shit you not, the guy walked into our Art History class dressed as a frickin' Texas ranger. We gave him shit about for weeks but he just genuinely doesn't care. Either that or he's oblivious to cruel mocking." Glancing at Garth, who just stuck his face into an obviously dust covered book causing him to sneeze fiercely, my guess is the latter. When he stops his sneezing fit, he looks over and notices Sam.

"You're not on my detention list, buddy." Garth says a little curiously and walks over to us.

"Garth, Sam, Sam, Garth." I point back and forth between them as an introduction. Sam stands up to shake his hand, but lets out a shocked grunt when Garth pulls him into a hug. He send me a wary look, and I just nod in approval. If it was anyone other than Garth the guy would instantly be deemed a pedophile and be sporting a black eye right now, but Garth's completely harmless. A little clueless, but he means no harm. "Sam's my little brother. He's only here because I'm his ride home. Other than that he's completely irrelevant to life and you're welcome to ignore him. It's what I do." I shrug as Sam hits me with bitchface level one, a warning sign.

He finally pulls back, "It's nice to meet you Sam." He walks back over to his book sorting a few tables away, leaving a very confused and flustered Sam standing there awkwardly.

"Don't worry; he grows on you." I reassure him and he looks at me skeptically and sits back down, looking through some books that were left on the table. Looking around at all the empty tables I finally realize that we're the only ones here. "Where is everyone?" I call over to Garth.

"In storage." He says back. "Instead of sitting on your butts today I've decided you guys could help me get some work done. There's a whole boatload of boxes full of old books that need to be sorted and brought out."

"I don't like work." I groan, leaning my chair back on it's back legs. "Who's been blessed with this wonderful opportunity of torture today?" I was curious to see who would be in detention today, though I already had an idea.

"Oh, the usual. Meg, Ruby, Alastair, Adam and Victor. Oh and three of the Novaks, but instead of Balthazar there's this little spark-plug named Gabriel." I gaped at him, eyes and mouth widened in shock. I've spent most of my detention time with these people and let me tell you, Meg, Ruby and Alastair were enough to destroy the entire school themselves, but mixing that with the hatred between them and those meat head jocks Adam and Victor and Meg's strange attraction to all things Castiel and you're just asking for a massacre. Luckily I've skillfully been able keep myself out of most of the fights that bring blood, tears and the Wrath of God, but throw in Gabriel who jumps at the thought of causing trouble and it's just a tell tale sign of a looming Apocalypse.

"Why the hell are they in the same detention? Does no one remember the five-person riot that destroyed the music room last year?" Sam turns and stares at me wide-eyed as I delve back into that eventful November afternoon, the reason why no detention was ever held in the music room again.

That was almost a year ago and the memory is still fresh in my mind. It started with some stupid argument between Adam and Meg in which he -truthfully- called Meg a no-good whore. That escalated pretty quickly when Alastair chuckled darkly and next thing you know, a cymbal was being smashed against the side of Adam's head. Then Victor cracked Alastair on back -hard enough you heard the blow- with a guitar. He went down, then Ruby's small frame was on Victor's back landing small-fisted punches left and right -I could've sworn she was also _biting_- until they both slammed into the keyboards. Adam, recovered from the cymbal to the face, was advancing on Alastair who was trying to stand up, when Meg landed an _awesome_ right hook that sent him flying into the drums. It was hell from then on, and I'd being lying if I said I wasn't highly amused by it while trying to shield and comfort the newly hired Garth in a corner on the opposite end of the room. If I remember correctly, Balthazar was also there, only he was just sitting on the teacher's desk recording the whole thing on his phone and eating a bag of chips like everything wasn't going bat-shit crazy around him. That's the day it fully dawned on me that everyone in that room was either murderous or insane, besides myself and the scrawny college student curled up next me, scared shitless and rambling nervously.

Garth visibly shudders at the memory. "There's some important meeting going on today so there weren't any other teachers available for separate supervision. Guess I'm just the perfect choice after last year, huh?" He laughs nervously, trying to joke his way out of the situation. Now, my eyes widen at his sheer stupidity.

"So you left them all in one room, not supervised at all?!" I ask incredulously. He drops the book in his hand, realization hitting him. Right on cue, there's a crash coming from the storage room.

"Um, I may not have thought that one through." Garth mutters.

Jimmy, shirtless if I may point out, walks out carrying another dusty box. He's acting as if there wasn't just a heart stopping crash coming from the room he was in a moment ago. I brush off the fact that he's sporting a nice six pack, something I truly didn't expect, because even though its a nice sight, seeing any part of Jimmy doesn't excite me. It's his brother that sends my dick into questionable twitches and my heart into overdrive. Even though they look exactly alike -and boy did I hope that held true with their abs- it's Castiel that I want. _More pressing matters at hand, Dean. Someone could be dying._ Seeing as Jimmy isn't too broken up about anything, it's no one important to me, I retort. Okay this arguing with myself, it needs to stop.

We all just look at him as he places the box on the table. "I see you're finally here, Winchester. You should join the shirtless club, man." He gestures up and down his torso, before looking at our expectant eyes. "What? You all look like you're waiting to see if your grandma died or some shit." He eyes us confusedly.

"Dude, that loud noise. What was it?" I roll my eyes at his idiotic tendencies.

"Oh! Gabriel may or may not have knocked over an entire shelve of old history textbooks." We all visibly relax at that. "And half of them may or may not have fell onto Adam Milligan." At that I stood up as Garth tensed, well as much as the mellow guy _can_ tense. He's a lot like Ash; they're both usually unfazed by anything, and it takes a lot to work them up.

"Dude, you do realize your brother could be being murdered by one of our quarterbacks, right?" My voice raises a little in anger that it seems like Jimmy doesn't even care about his brother's well-being.

"Whoa there Dean-o, relax. Adam was being a dick, I fully suggested kicking his ass, but Gabriel said he could handle it. Besides, if anything gets out of control, Cassie's in there. Trust me, you don't want three of us fighting at the same time." Jimmy turns to his box of books, signaling the conversation was over.

"Sammy, Garth stay here. I'll go check things out." Garth seemed more than fine where he was, but I fix Sammy with hard stare when he tries to defiantly follow me. The last thing I need is for Sam to get hurt in some sort of cross-fire. Stalking past Jimmy, I make my way to the storage room.

"Hey Dean!" I turn back find that mischievous Novak look I've become wary of. "When you get in there, try not to stare too much." He winks at me and turns back around, while I just look at the back of his head, puzzled.

That is, until I walk into the spacious but uncomfortably hot room. Adam sat on the floor by a bookshelf, books sprawled out around him and holding a water bottle to his head fighting off Victor's attempts to check the damage. Gabriel sat on a crate on the other side of the room looking too innocent, Alastair and Ruby lounged around, fanning themselves and Ruby, slut that she was, didn't even have on a shirt. Clad in her lacy red bra, she sat there as if this is something she always does. Oh wait, it is. None of this really caught my attention, though. What my eyes were drawn to was the shirtless beauty on the right side of the room. I could've been drooling at the sight of the sweat rolling down his well defined six pack and prominent hip bones and fuck if I even cared but, three things kept me from that.

One; how and why the fuck did Jimmy know I was gonna be staring at his brother's naked torso?

Two; Meg, the school's second biggest slut, next to her best friend Ruby of course, was sauntering over to Cas while he went through a shelf of books. Every button to her shirt undone, she perked up her breasts and tried to be seductive. Angry jealousy erupted inside of me from God knows where, and it took everything I had not to go over there and rip the bitch a new one for getting anywhere near Cas, but something else caught my attention.

Castiel's torso was littered with bruises, many of them yellow and fading into his skin, but there were two large bruises on his back, one on his left side near his ribs, and a slightly smaller one on his stomach. Every time he turned or twisted too fast he winced fiercely, and had to stop to breathe until the pain subsided. Jealousy was beaten out by anger at the sight, and I honestly felt as if I wanted to kill someone right then and there for ever hurting Cas. Who would want to hurt him like this anyway? Does Jimmy know about this? I'm pretty sure Jimmy would've murdered someone with his bare hands if he did, but he seemed fine with everything earlier.

I take a deep breath to calm myself, knowing I was being irrational. Cas and I aren't even technically friends, and yet I feel like some over-protective boyfriend. _Like I said, you're getting creepy._ I so don't have the patience to argue with myself right now.

"Oh look, Garth's little bitch toy had finally graced us with his presence. Gonna actually do some work today Dean? Or is sucking our supervisor's dick getting you out of it?" Adam drops the water bottle and pushes away from Victor, standing -more like stumbling, but whatever- up.

"Not today, Adam." I walk past him and start working on a bookshelf next to Gabriel, keeping my distance from the people I genuinely don't like.

"Whoa, calm down man. It was just a joke." He holds up his hands in surrender, backing off. I roll my eyes and continue sorting through the dusty books, sweat soaking through my shirt and making it cling to me. Now I see why three fifths of the guys in this room were shirtless. I peel off my sweat soaked shirt and drape it over my shoulder, and the whistles and cat calls start.

"Yeah, take it off Winchester." Ruby says in a sultry voice, and I just raise my eyebrow at her with a disgusted look. I've never liked Ruby -or Meg for that matter- but she just takes that as challenge to get me to sleep with her. Apparently calling her a whore and saying that I'd rather not have sex with someone most likely swimming in STD's just turns her on. Speaking from experience here.

"You know, I usually tell people they can look but not touch, but in your case I'd rather you don't do either sweetheart." I retort. She huffs out an indignant breath, glaring at me.

"Oo, Winchester one, slut zero." Victor calls. Alastair shoots him dirty look, then turns to me with a smile on his face. Considering all Alastair's facial expressions consist of are scowls and evil smirks, it makes me uneasy.

"That's quite alright, Dean. I think we all know you only have eyes for one person. No matter how much meaningless sex you have to make yourself feel better about it." Judging by how his smile turned triumphant, I'm guessing I was a second too late in schooling my features. So naturally, when my head started swimming in thoughts of Cas I could barely form a believable response.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Is the lame excuse I come up with, which only succeeds in egging him on.

"Oh come on, Dean. It's like not we didn't notice you drooling the minute you stepped through that door." He slides off the table he and Ruby were sitting on and walks up into my face. "Why don't you tell poor, clueless Castiel the truth? That you've been creeping on him for years, fantasizing about bending him over and fucking him into your mattress while he screams your name." My jaw tightens and I can see the murderous tint in my eyes reflecting in Alastair's. "Oh, did I hit a nerve?" It takes everything in my power not to punch this dick in the face.

"What's your problem?" I ask through clenched teeth, barely able to keep my fists at my sides. Alastair let's out a humorless chuckle, moving impossibly closer, the same evil look in his eyes as in mine.

"My problem, is that you're a faggot. Alastair doesn't do well with faggots, Dean." I was fully ready to beat this fucker into oblivion, but Adam's voice shocks me out of it.

"Enough, Alastair! What the fuck is your problem man?" He takes a threatening step forward, but Victor grabs his arm and Alastair barely spares him a sideways glance. I was way too shocked at hearing Adam defend me to do anything else. If I wasn't currently bleeding anger and hatred for the dick in front of me I would think this really was the Twilight Zone.

"Dude, coach is gonna have your ass if you even think about getting into a fight." Victor warns, pulling him away from any confrontation.

"Listen to your boyfriend, Milligan. He knows what's best for you." Alastair sneers, never taking his eyes off of me.

"You know instead of worrying about what I'm doing with my dick, you should be worrying about what your girlfriend is doing with everyone else's. 'Cause the fact is, I'm not the one behind those bookshelves pressing my hot and sweaty body up against Castiel you oblivious moron." His expression falters for a second, then is replaced with sheer anger as he takes a look around the room, eyes finally landing on the part of the storage room that was blocked off from here. Without sparing me a backward glance, he stomps off to where his obviously infuriating girlfriend was.

Okay, so there's a little housekeeping to be done here. Ruby, Alastair and Meg are kind of like the demon version of the Three Musketeers. But instead of kicking some bad guy ass to make sure their friend gets the girl (or at least that's what I got from when we read the book last year), they prefer ruining people's lives and leaving destruction and fire in their wake. Think I'm exaggerating? Yeah, no. They actually once set an abandoned building on fire in the middle of town. Let's just say if the fire department hadn't gotten there on time, Lawrence, Kansas would've had a block full of burned buildings and a lot of death reports (and let's be honest, who actually _likes_ paperwork?) to deal with. Ruby probably beat out every female in town for Lawrence's Next Top Prostitute in like the sixth grade, while Meg and Alastair have this every inconsistent off-on relationship going on. Whenever they're not together, Meg could give Ruby a run for her money in the promiscuous department, but whenever they're together, the only reason you should ever get near Meg, may you be a guy or girl, is if you genuinely wish to die a slow, painful, torturous death by the hands of Alastair. Alastair, who's spent more birthdays in a jail cell than at home with his family. So yeah, that explains why this next sentence sends my protective glands -seriously the amount of self-sacrificing I do must come from somewhere- into overdrive.

"You probably just got my brother killed, idiot." I look down at Gabriel who has this disapproving yet somehow amused -what's funny about knowing your family member's going to die, I have no clue- look on his face. At least I hope, however wrong this may seem, that he's laughing at his brother's expense because Gabriel of all people knowing that I was obsessed with Castiel could literally be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I'd actually prefer Balthazar, which is saying something because he alone would be enough to make me want to kill myself. With fire. In the most painful way possible.

Realizing my mistake, I make my way over to where Meg, Alastair and Castiel were, vaguely aware of Gabriel rolling his eyes and walking off. As I approached, I could hear their conversation and even partially see a bruised back pinned against the bookshelf.

"Do we really need to have this talk again, Novak?" He snarls.

"Lay off, Alastair." Meg says in a bored tone. Apparently both guys favored ignoring her at the moment, though.

"As much as I love being up close and personal with you Alastair, I'm afraid not. In fact you should be telling your little slut toy to keep her hands to herself." Cas sounded completely calm and Meg scoffed offhandedly.

"How sweet of you, Clarence." She drawls.

"Shut up, Meg." They both say at the same time, followed by a deep groan as Cas' back hit the bookshelf, hard.

"I've told you before, keep your dick in your pants Castiel. Meg is mine, and no one else's." _Please don't tell me he means what I think he does._

"I think I've made it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with your girlfriend, though she doesn't seem to feel the same way." His tone is taunting, almost condescending. Or in other words he has a serious death wish.

"What the hell are you talking about?" The question comes out as a growl and Castiel chuckles. He fucking_ chuckles. _

"Well before you, thankfully, interrupted our little conversation, Meg here was telling me how much better I was in the sack than you." Oh god. Castiel had sex with Meg?! That explains why she practically stalks the guy like a psycho ex-girlfriend. That's just a total and complete turn-off. Well as turned off as is possible for me when it comes to the blue-eyed aphrodisiac that is Cas. _Focus, Dean! _There was silence for a few moments before Meg broke it.

"It's true. Best I ever had." I hear the smile in Meg's voice and practically feel the heat of anger radiating off of Alastair from here. For a guy like Alastair, having someone one-up him -especially with his girlfriend- is a major kick in the balls and bruise to his ego.

"And here I though you guys were in the running for Lawrence's power couple. Huh, guess I was wrong." _What the hell are you doing you idiot?! _I'm starting to think Charlie was right; the whole Novak family is fucking nuts. Even I, Dean Winchester, asshole extraordinaire, know not to taunt this freak of nature.

Knowing a hit was definitely coming, I sped around the corner before I even heard the loud groan of pain from Castiel. I was still too late, as when I got around the bookshelf Cas was on his knees, hunched over in pain, clutching the same exact spot that held the large round bruise on the right side on his stomach. The pain etched into Castiel's face was enough to make me see red, and I lunged for Alastair at the same moment he kicked Castiel in the larger bruise on his left ribs.

Once I landed on top of Alastair, I didn't even hesitate to start pounding his face left and right. For too long I've been waiting for this. For too long Alastair has been pushing me further and further to the edge. Every punch was like I was righting a wrong that he's done me over the years.

Left blow. He tripped me into a huge mud puddle on the first day of kindergarten, scraping most of the skin off my left knee in the process. I still have the very prominent scar to remind me of the moment I felt pure hatred for the first time.

Right blow. Pissing in my apple juice sometime during first grade and watching me drink it.

Left blow. Talking shit about my mom after she died when I was eight. Well, actually that was resolved right after when I kicked his ass up and down the playground, but it still counts seeing as he didn't learn his lesson.

Right blow. Destroying Charlie's precious Moondoor costume and then framing me for it when we were eleven. Okay, that sounded way less stupid in my head, but it really hurt when she believed it and didn't talk to me for two weeks. Fuck whoever says put your past behind you, that's a load of bullshit.

Left blow. Call me a faggot and think you're gonna get away with it? I think not.

Right blow. For hurting Castiel. So maybe that one wasn't technically personal, but it needed to be done.

"Get off of him!" Meg yells and tries clawing me off of Alastair.

A second, that's all it took. For one split second I turned my head to look at Meg, and suddenly there was a fist in my stomach, and I fell on my ass. Alastair was on me almost immediately, all bruises, bloodied nose and white hot anger -all credits to me of course- and pounding me as furiously as I was him. Fortunately my dad is a marine and raised me to be fighter, so I successfully fended off the blows that would do the worst damage. Unfortunately, I wasn't really thinking clearly so trying to throw Alastair off me and flip us over hadn't really worked.

Suddenly, the hits stopped coming and Alastair wasn't above me anymore. That punch to the stomach really hurt, considering I was having trouble trying to sit up. When I finally did manage it, I examined the scene around me. Adam, defending me for the second time today, had dragged Alastair off and away from me and they were currently wrestling and throwing punches a few feet away. Victor was struggling to hold back a very spastic Meg from attacking Adam without actually hitting her, and Castiel was in fetal position taking in short, quick breaths while trying to gently, if possible, clutch his left side. Standing up as fast I could, I made my way over to him and my heart clenched. His face was red from the stress of trying to breathe, and his eyes were welled up with unshed tears of pain. Kneeling down, I bent over him trying to see what was wrong.

"Cas." His wet eyes met mine and he tried to breathe in but ending up hissing in pain. Gently, I turned him onto his back so I could fully see the bruise and his face. "Cas talk to me man, what's wrong?" He wasn't breathing normally for one, but I didn't know why.

"Can...can't...breathe." He huffs out.

"Yeah that was kind of a given, but why?" My voice was anxious and I was starting to panic as his face turned redder.

"R-ribs...bro...broken." Before I could even freak, I heard the scraping of metal against the floor behind Cas. Without even thinking I grabbed Cas around the shoulders and legs, rolling us out of the way of the avalanche of books and the falling bookcase. We landed so I was hovering over Cas' body protectively, as books went flying everywhere with loud crashing noises, as well as the bookcase falling after them. One particularly heavy textbook hit me square between the shoulders and I half fell on top of Cas at the impact.

_Looks like we found Ruby._ Lifting my head up I confirmed my suspicions, as the demonic bitch was standing where the large metal bookcase used to be watching as some of us were hit with bone-breaking textbooks and could be seriously injured. I couldn't see Victor and Meg, though that suspicious pile of moving books was probably them. Alastair was already moving to sit up but Adam, Adam was barely managing to shift from his side to on his back. When he finally did manage it, there was trail of blood down the right side of his face, coming from the gash just below his hairline. I could feel Castiel's uneven breaths under me and even small whimpers of pain. Considering I didn't even know how serious the rib injury was before, i really hope what I just did didn't damage them anymore. Looking at his face, I could clearly see the struggles of breathing his broken ribs were causing and I prayed to god nothing punctured one of his lungs.

Movement caught the corner of my eye and turned to see Alastair hovering above Adam, a dangerously large encyclopedia gripped in both hands. I felt my eyes widen as I realized what he was going to do to the barely conscious Adam. I was about to witness a murder, as in his current state there was no way Adam would survive a hit from that book. My flickered to Cas as Alastair raised to book above his head. Without hesitation I got up and ran straight for Alastair, tackling him before he could to anything. Looking into his hate filled eyes, I punched him in the face with as much force as I could manage with already bruised knuckles, and his face fell slack, unconscious.

To anyone who didn't see what happened next, I will never admit to the truth. There is no chance in hell I'll ever admit that a girl at least seven inches shorter than my 5'11" frame and fifty pounds lighter managed to fucking rugby tackle me. In my pitiful defense, I had been fighting and being hit by flying textbooks these past few minutes so I wasn't exactly on my A-game. While I was still processing this, as well as the aching pain between my shoulders, there was a rush of air on my left cheek and then a strong stinging sensation. As if my ego hadn't just been bruised enough, I was just bitch slapped by the same tiny girl that tackled me, and that shit _hurt._ A lot. I heard pounding footsteps, followed by two voices.

"Cassie!"

"Dean!"

Ruby was dragged off me, kicking and screaming and fighting back. "Get of me! Who the hell do you think you are?! Ow!" There was a thud, and then Sam's face was directly in front of mine, eyes all worried and shit.

"You're beautiful Sammy, really. But I'd appreciate it if you backed the fuck up." I groan. Sam just rolls his eyes and grabs my hand, helping me stand up.

"Dean, you're bleeding." Sam grabs my face and turns it to the side, ignoring my hiss of pain and glaring. "Looks like she scratched you." That's why my face stung like all hell and I could feel a slight trickling.

"Great now I'm gonna have a whore infection." I snatch my face away from and look to where Ruby sat fuming on the floor, looking like she was tossed there. _Atta boy, Sammy_.

Victor and Meg were finally emerging from their blanket of books, looking dazed and confused. Sam, being the good boy that his is went over to help them.

"Dean! What the hell happened to him?! He won't talk to me!" My head snapped to where Jimmy was on his knees by Castiel, much like I was earlier, trying to see what was wrong with his brother. That drew my attention back to the situation at hand, and the fact that there were two seriously injured people in the room. I ran over to Cas and hovered my ear over his mouth to check his breathing. It was still uneven and sounded pained. His eyes were lidded and he looked as if he was between passing out and going to sleep.

"Jimmy he needs to go to the hospital." I looked at Cas and then swung my head around to look at Adam who also needed to see a doctor. As I was weighing my options, Jimmy started firing frantic questions.

"What? Why? Why isn't he breathing normally? Dean!" He eyes had a look of pure panic and irritation at not knowing what was going on nor what to do.

"Calm down, asshat! Your brother has some broken ribs but I'm not sure if anything else is damaged. He could be seriously hurt Jimmy so you need to get him to the hospital." His eyes doubled in size as he looked into my serious ones. I got up and went back over to Adam, who was still laying motionless besides the slight swaying of his head and his shirtless chest moving up and down. At least he was still breathing.

"Adam, can you hear me?" There was no response. I gently slapped his face a few times. "Adam look at me!" There was a small almost inaudible grunt, but he was clearly unconscious. Seeing how this was the second time in less than ten minutes that he seriously hurt his head, he could have a bad concussion or something worse.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?! In case you haven't noticed we weigh exactly the same and even if I could carry him I can't put him on the back of my motorcycle!" Shit. Jimmy had a point there. But it was impossible for me to get both Adam and Cas to the hospital. Feeling completely torn and restless, I let out a groan of frustration. I really wanted to be there for Cas, but Adam defended me, twice, and if he hadn't then he wouldn't be bleeding with possible head trauma right now.

"Go help them Winchester, I've got him." I jumped at the sound of Victor's voice and turned to the right to see him crouching next to me, gazing at his best friend's motionless body.

"Dude you sure you're okay to do that?" I ask after looking him over for a moment. He was gripping his left shoulder and trying to hide the pained look on his face. I couldn't see any other signs of injury but I was skeptical about leaving Adam with a one armed driver. Which is completely hypocritical, considering how I drive.

"I'm fine. Besides, we both know who you'd rather be taking care of." He smirks at me and I give him a small, bashful smile. He wasn't taunting or making fun of me, just speaking as if he was stating pure, amusing facts.

When I got back over to Jimmy and Cas, I bent down and scooped him up in my arms, careful to steer clear of his left side. He whimpered as I picked him up and adjusted him in my arms. I couldn't carry him bridal style -which would've been much easier- because then I would have to clutch the exact spot that was hurt to support him. So instead I carried him like I used to carry Sammy when he was small. My right arm was placed under his kneecaps while my left arm was holding up his entire torso, hand curled around his hip, and his head resting in the crook of my neck. My dick was suddenly very aware that Cas' body was pressed up against mine, -skin to skin, nonetheless- and I could feel the warmth from his body mixing with mine. His breath was brushing the spot where my neck meet my shoulder and the space where my skin sinks into my collarbone. The tingling feeling on my neck was laced with arousal that went straight down south. _Well that never happened with Sam._ Repressing the feeling of euphoria at Cas being cuddled up against my body, I started to walk out of the storage room, Jimmy and Sam on either side of me.

"We're taking my car." I stated, glancing at Jimmy whose eyes were trained on the brother I was carrying in my arms. I'm not even sure he was hearing me, as he made no sign of acknowledging anything but Cas. "Jimmy you there?" There was a certain darkness that passed through his light blue eyes for a quick moment, then he turned his head to look straight forward.

"It was Alastair, wasn't it?" It came out as a question but I could tell from his tone he didn't need an answer. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "If he wasn't dead to the world right now, I'd rip his heart out." His voice was perfectly calm, but there was a certain conviction behind those words that assured me he meant that literally.

"Cassie!" Gabriel cries once we were in sight. He and Garth rush over and give Castiel a once over. "I told you you were going to get him hurt!"

"Seriously? You think _now_ is good time to place blame? While I'm carrying your basically oxygen deprived brother?" I ask incredulously.

"He's right, Gabriel. We don't have time to argue with two seriously injured people." Jimmy says hurriedly, ready to get to the hospital to see if his twin was okay. Thank god he said something because he made me realize we left a one-armed Victor to haul Adam's ass out of the building, into his car and to the hospital.

"_Two _seriously injured people?" Garth cries.

"Yeah, Adam's currently unconscious and Cas is halfway there. Oh and Alastair too, but no one gives a shit about him so..." I could laugh at Jimmy's aggravated impatient tone, but I feel the exact same way.

"Look we don't have time to stand here and explain everything but I'm pretty sure everyone got some type of injury except Ruby." Garth sighs heavily at that.

"I am so fired." He mutters moving out of the way.

"You'll be fine Garth. Someone needs to go help Victor with Adam." I quickly glance at Jimmy, considering he would the strongest out of everyone available, but one stern look is all I needed to know that he wasn't leaving Cas' side.

"I'll do it." Sam offers quickly as Garth and Gabriel started heading in the direction. We all look at him quizzically and he clears his throat. "Uh, no offense but you probably had him halfway to the hospital anyway," he points at Gabriel, "and neither of you are really strong enough to carry Adam." Gabriel and Garth share a look and then return their gazes to Sam.

"Way to kill a guy's self-esteem, Samsquatch." Sam scowls at him and pushes past to go help Victor.

"Okay Victor has help, can we go now?" Jimmy rolls his eyes and starts walking away, not even checking if I was following or not.

We maneuvered our way from the far end of the building, where the library was located, to the parking lot pretty quickly. As I felt Cas' breath getting shallow I sped into an weird jog-run while focusing my ears on the sounds of his breathing. When we reached Baby, I awkwardly fumbled my hand in an attempt to reach into my right pocket with still supporting Cas' weight.

"Dude." Jimmy groaned and then unceremoniously shoved his hand into my pocket. It got awkward real quick when we both realized I was wearing jeans with _really_ deep pockets, and he was wrist deep trying to yank out my keys while avoiding brushing his hand anyway near my inner thigh. After forty seconds, a few annoyed grunts and one flustered look that probably mirrored my own, Jimmy finally got the keys out of my pocket and managed to unlock the doors. Ocne we had Cas laying down on the back seat, Jimmy tossed me the keys and I went to get in the driver's seat.

"Dean, wait." I paused with one foot in the door and looked back at him. "What about Gabriel and Sam? We can't just leave them here."

"Shit." I groaned, noticing there was no room in the car with Cas in the back and Jimmy and I in front. As if on cue, my phone started blaring Eye of the Tiger and vibrating. Without bothering to check the Caller ID I slide my finger across the screen and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Dean, I'm riding with Victor to the hospital since he's still going to need help carrying Adam inside. We're across the parking lot." My initial reaction was to scream 'hell no' and tell Sam to get his overgrown ass over here, but seeing as I saw a something a little a different in both Victor and Adam today and we were kind of pressed for time, I just sighed deeply and craned my neck to find Sam. He was standing against the open passenger side door of Victor's Jeep.

"Put Victor on the phone." I watched as he reached across the top of the car and gave Victor the phone.

"Yeah?" He greets.

"Look Henriksen we've been butting heads since the day we met, but since your buddy Adam jumped to my defense I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. So I'm going to say this one time and one time only; anything happens to Sam and you're dead carcass will be fertilizing your mom's pretty award-winning garden, understood?" I kept my voice low and threatening, conveying that it wasn't a threat but a promise. Victor scoffs.

"Yeah, yeah. I won't damage a pretty little hair on your brother's head. Now if we're done exchanging testosterone Dean, I think we're needed somewhere." I hang up rolling my eyes.

"Jimmy, call Gabriel and tell him to get his dwarf- fuck!" I almost drop my phone when I turn to see Gabriel standing right next to Jimmy. When the hell did he get here? "Oh. That'll do, I guess." I get into the driver's seat while Gabriel slides in to the passenger seat.

From the rear view mirror I watch with a small smile as Jimmy gingerly lifts Cas' head and shoulders off the seat, and then places them in his lap as he sits. Starting up the car, I make my way out of the parking lot and onto the street, Victor right behind us. Now I see why women coo over the whole brotherly bond thing that occasionally happens between me and Sam. It's kind of cute.

_That's gay_, that annoying ass voice chirps. _You're gay_, I respond. _Guess we know what that say's about you,_ he snarks. I just referred to a voice in my head as 'he'. I officially need help.

"Hm. I've never really liked this piece of crap, but it's pretty comfy." Gabriel chirps. I was just resisting the urge to slap -yes, slap- him in the face for insulting Baby when he props his feet up on the dashboard. If I wasn't focused on driving, I'd be burning a fiery hole into his head.

"Gabriel?" I say very calmly and he hums in response. "I have a hunting knife in the glove compartment," his head snaps toward mine, "so if you don't get your fucking feet off the dashboard, I will saw them off." He stares at me for a minute, then starts chuckling.

"Yeah right, Dean-o. You don't have a..." His words trail off as he opens the glove compartment and pulls out the undeniably sharp hunting knife I got from Bobby. "Feet off the dashboard, got it." He quickly drops feet and replaces the knife. I feel the corner of my mouth twitch into a barely there smile at the Gabriel's obvious discomfort.

"Guys he's unconscious." Jimmy blurts anxiously. I almost forgot he was there, he was so focused on Cas that he was actually _quiet._ Worry creeps up my spine and I push my foot a little harder on the gas, going just enough above the speed limit to get us there faster, but not enough to cause problems.

_Please let Cas be okay._

* * *

"Okay, someone better explain why five of you were shirtless, and four of those five looked like they'd been hit by a bus." Tessa demands as she disinfects the whore-inflicted scratches on my face. She had been in the front when the seven of us stormed in demanding medical attention for Adam and Cas, and after at least ten minutes she finally convinced Victor and I to get our own injuries checked out.

"Well it's nice to see you too Tess-" I cut off with a hiss of pain when she dabs some kind of anti-bacterial crap on my face with a little too much force.

"I thought I told you this is a snark-free zone, Dean." I could see the well hidden amusement in her eyes as I scowled halfheartedly. "You guys came in carrying two unconscious and injured, one of you has a busted shoulder, one of you has a scratched up face among various other bruises forming, and then there's the three without a hint of any type of anything besides sweat and worry lines. I think I deserve an explanation, Dean." She quirks an eyebrow, and I just stare defiantly, a smirk planted firmly on my lips. It's not that I didn't want to tell her, I'd honestly tell Tessa anything, I just like seeing that cute flustered look that only I can provoke.

When she realized I wasn't going to talk anytime soon she turned to Victor, who was having his shoulder wrapped by Amy, another one of the nurses. "What about you, sweetie? Care to share?" I sent Victor a look that said 'say nothing'. A sly grin spread across his face as he looked at Tessa.

"Sorry. I suffer from a severe memory disorder. Couldn't tell you even if I wanted to." He winces as Amy pulls the bandage tighter.

"Oh really? And what's the name of this disorder?" She looks away from him to put those tape-strip thingies along the now clean Ruby-claw cuts. I swear if I end up with scars on my gorgeous man-face I'll cry. And then kill the bitch. Since Victor and I are facing each other I catch the amused glint in his eyes.

"Bullshititis. BSI for short. It originated in France. I could tell you when, but unfortunately everyone who ever had it suddenly forgot it ever existed." He kept his face perfectly serious as she glared at him not amused.

"You're kidding me, right?" She asks.

"It's very serious actually." Amy, Sam and I all laugh at the half-annoyed, half-exasperated look Tessa sends Victor.

"Sam, you have to know something." She gives Sam a pleading look that he expertly dodges.

"No way Tessa. You're not putting me in the middle of this."

"Why can't you just tell me? It wasn't anything illegal right?" She gazes at me with eyes that sent messages along the lines of "I'll kill you, Dean Winchester' and 'After everything we've been through, you traitor'.

"Oh look at that, I think I'm showing some signs of bullshititis. Who are you again?" We all laugh again. She slaps me with the towel she used to wipe the blood off my face a few minutes ago, shaking her head in mock irritation.

"You know, I used to think being an asshole was just a phase, but you grow worse every time I see you." She had the ghost of a fond smile on her lips, indicating she thought the complete opposite of the insult. "All I ever do is try to help and look after you, and these are the thanks I get. I hope these scratches leave scars on that pretty little face of yours."

"Aw, you think I'm pretty?" I bat my eyelashes and pucker my lips, doing my impression of what I've seen girls do in their stupid pictures. Tessa grimaces and pushes my face away.

"Not anymore." She scoffs.

"You're just jealous 'cause I'm prettier than you Tess." I say, using the falsetto voice that annoys Jo and Charlie.

"Oh please, Dean. You'll never be as pretty as this." She stands up and gestures to her everything. Well, can't argue with that. I remember when I was younger and my dreams used to be filled with everything Tessa and nothing else. Not that I'd ever tell her anyone else this, but my very first wet dream had been about Tessa. I was eleven at the time and had been smitten for about three years. Well we all know how that story changed when I was thirteen, and anything I felt for Tessa had long since changed into sisterly love. Now my dreams were filled with Castiel's gorgeous eyes, sexy hair and unbelievably pink lips. What those lips were doing I'm afraid is way past PG my friends.

"Don't I know it." I bite my lip exaggeratedly and pretend to eye her up and down. When she notices, I get a face full of bloody towel once again.

"I thought we already established eleven years makes me too old for you." She scolds me.

"Hey, that was six years ago. I've grown, I've changed. I'm a man now, Tess. So what do you say we shed some clothes and do the horizontal mambo?" I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively with a flirtatious smile.

I was just kidding of course, but flirting just comes so natural I can't find it in me to stop. I could hear Victor and Sam snickering, but that's probably for a very different reason than what Tessa thought. I catch sight of the towel flinging towards me again, but before it can hit me in the injured cheek again I grab it out of the air and Tessa's hand.

"Abusing the injured? That's real nice Tess. How about we go kick some puppies? That should fuel your sick entertainment purposes." Finally, she let the soft, melodic laugh I've been trying to draw out and smiled. It was that laugh and smile that got me through some of the worst times in my life, something so familiar and warm that I can't stand not seeing when I'm around Tessa. It instantly warmed my heart and brought back memories of the time I spent in this hospital.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're in here or not?" She asks, smile still on her face. What the hell, there was no way I could resist a smiling Tessa so I just decided to give teasing her a rest.

"We got into a fight at school and some crazy bitch dropped a bookshelf on us." I informed her, giving the gist of the story because going into to detail was just so much work. "The same bitch who dug her claws into my beautiful face." I swear if I get scars I'm going to murder Ruby mercilessly.

"Okay so that explains you and the one with the hurt shoulder, what about the two sleeping beauties upstairs?" I was just opening my mouth to answer, but Sam beat me to it.

"Well, one of them is out cold from being hit by an avalanche of heavy books, twice, and the other is awaiting a kiss from his handsome prince to awake him from his slumber." He stares at me pointedly with a sickeningly sweet grin when he says the last part.

"Shut your cakehole, overgrown brat." I warn Sammy in a low voice. Victor successfully stops himself from laughing when I glare at him, but he still wears a clearly amused expression. And not at all helping the matter is that as soon as Sammy suggested the freaking idea my blood decided that was a perfect time to present itself in my cheeks, no matter how tough and angry I tried to look. My mind entertaining the idea that I could be Cas' prince is the last thing I need with four pairs of amused eyes trained on me.

"Aw, is he talking about the one you came in with, cradled in your arms?" Wow, the first thing Amy's said in the last ten minutes and it's of course at my expense.

"No-" I started to protest. The whole me liking Cas thing obviously isn't a secret and I don't mind people knowing that I swing for both teams as long as they're not dicks about it, but I'd rather not have the whole town know about my feelings for blue eyed boy from the wealthiest and most well-known family in Lawrence. That runs the risk of Cas finding out -if he doesn't know already, since it seems like my crush is blatantly obvious at this point- and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet.

"You two look good together." She keeps going.

"Amy-"

"That's kind of romantic, having your boyfriend carrying you to the hospital." She muses.

"For fuck's sake, Amy he's not my boyfriend! And I'm not his prince whatever other freaky fantasies you guys are thinking of." I take in a deep breath to calm myself. Sam and Victor share knowing looks, while Amy and Tessa regard me with skeptical ones.

"But you want him to be." It wasn't a question, and there wasn't any room for argument the way Tessa stated it. "I've always known you weren't exactly as straight as you wanted to come across." I blinked in surprise at the bluntness of her statement.

"And how did you know that?" When I was here it was a few years before I even realized it myself. "Do I just come across as gay to people or something?" I was genuinely curious. No, that couldn't be it because then I wouldn't have a long list of girls on my belt of promiscuity.

"Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating." Sam queries, a thoughtful expression on his face, until he looks at the stern look on mine. "I think getting rid of the leather helped a bit with that though."

"Such a sweet talker, Sammy. You should comfort people for a living." I rolled my eyes and turned back to Tessa when she started explaining.

"Dean, you spent almost seven months here on the cusp of puberty. You may not have known or understood what you were doing at the time, but I picked up on a few things." She pats me on the knee reassuringly when I give a panicked look. _Oh god, please tell me I wasn't unconsciously checking out some male doctor's ass or something._

Thank God that Gabriel and Jimmy chose this exact moment to plop down in chairs on either side of Sam, because I wasn't really looking forward to voicing my question and hearing the embarrassing and extremely but unconsciously gay things I probably did when I was hovering on the age of twelve.

"So, Jiminy. What's the verdict?" Clearly no one else was gonna ask. Jimmy slumped in his seat, and there something in his eyes that I couldn't pinpoint.

Rolling his eyes at the name, "Cas has five broken ribs, three broken in two places." Victor whistles quietly at the news. Everyone else seemed surprised, but I was just confused. There's no way the kick that Alastair gave Cas could do so much damage, so then how the hell did he get five broken ribs? Then again, I'm not a doctor so I decided to kept that thought to myself. For now. "The doctor said he has something called flail chest, meaning his ribs couldn't hold their shape when he tried to breath, making it harder to breathe."

"So why did he pass out?" Sam asks.

"A number of things." Jimmy lets out a harsh breath through his nose. "He couldn't breathe normally because of both the pain and the flail chest, so he panicked, started taking shorter breaths, got dizzy and passed out from oxygen deprivation. Or at least that's what I got from the doctor's stupid medical jargon."

"But he's gonna be alright, right?" I tried for nonchalance, trying to keep the bone-deep worry out of my voice. I had held Cas directly against me, I felt how hard it was for him to breathe and the fierce shaking. He had been panicking and in pain and I couldn't do anything about it.

"Well yeah, besides the extremely painful breathing and chest full of broken bones he should be fine." I raise a questioning eyebrow at the edge in his voice and his face softens. "Sorry I just...never mind. He should be fine when he wakes up. Just like any other rib injury, he'll get some pain medication and have to heal for about six weeks. He's just lucky nothing got punctured or damaged from the broken bones." I heave a sigh of relief, but was still curious about his tone of voice and look in his eyes. It was somewhere along the lines of resignation and...pain? _Eh, it's probably that freaky twin-telepathy thing or something._

"Not that I'm not happy your brother isn't dying or anything," everyone fixing Victor with a hard stare at his choice of words, which he politely ignores, "but what about Adam? You know, the one I'm actually here for?"

"Wow, couldn't keep asshole Victor locked up for too long, I see. To think I was actually starting to tolerate you. Slightly." My words didn't have as much venom as usual, which I guess was kind a start for us.

"Hey, like I said. I'm here for Adam, not to hold hands and sing along to the crap Disney songs about friendship and love." Huh, his words sounded lighter than usual too. Still kind of asshole-y but I guess that's as much as we could ask for on such short notice. We also had a short staring match, complete with matching smirks.

"Uh," Gabriel coughs to get our attention, "Since I kind of brought Adam halfway here, I talked to the doctor for you."

"And?" Victor says when he doesn't continue.

"I didn't get much but the doctor said he might have a serious concussion. He woke up for almost a minute, but that just was to throw up and then he fell back under. I think they're doing some sort of brain scan to see how serious it is." Guilt pretty laced Gabriel's voice and was written plainly across his face.

"What about the blood?" Victor sighs. He was doing the same thing I did earlier; trying not to show how worried he really was.

"It was just a gash on the forehead, probably from one of the books. Nothing serious." There was a pause before he spoke again. "Look man, I'm really-"

"Do I look like Adam to you?" Victor interrupts, staring Gabriel down, who gulps.

"No."

"Then don't apologize to me. Save it for when Adam wakes up." Gabriel nods and then turns away, looking oddly flustered. This kid probably has never apologized for anything in his life. "Speaking of which, are you done so I can go up now?" He turns to Amy who nods. Hopping off the bed across from me, he does a little half wave before heading off to the elevators.

Since I'm a very curious person, I just can't leave unanswered questions hanging most of the time, I decide to get answers to the two I've had in the last five minutes. So, when Tessa gets up and mutters something about having to go actually do her job instead of gossiping with teenagers, I grab her wrist. She quirks a eyebrow in question before sitting next to me.

"So...about those things you picked up on?" I speak lowly, wanting to keep this conversation between us and look at her expectantly.

"Okay well, remember how we would walk around the hospital on those days when you were really down?" I nod and we both smile softly at the memory. I could have been having a really shitty day and feeling beyond miserable, then Tessa would swoop in and make everything go away. No matter many rude things I shouted or tried pushing her away, she'd always stay by my side and make me feel better. We'd walk around the hospital in her down time, either looking for something fun to do or just strolling, depending on what kind of mood I was in. "There was that really hot doctor in the emergency room that would always cover for us when we'd get in trouble for wandering in the side of hospital we didn't belong in, especially since you were so sick."

"Oh yeah, the 'Greek god' as you student nurses would call him." I chuckle, remembering how all the females nurses would swoon whenever he walked by or stopped to talk to them. "Dr. Prometheus right?" Tessa nods.

"Yeah. I remember how you'd rant on and on for hours about how doctors were stupid, annoying pricks who'd rather sit around with their thumbs up their asses instead of helping kids like you. But not him. Whenever we'd get within fifty feet of the guy you'd face would flush and you'd get all nervous. It was so cute." I wrinkle my nose in disgust at how obvious I must have been. "He probably chocked it up to hero worship when you'd tell him how awesome he was at everything, but I swear you were swooning just as hard as every female in the building. Not to mention you'd also go on about how if Dr. Sexy was real he'd be him."

"And then we nicknamed him Dr. Sexy and made it point to always go to the emergency room on our walks. Wow, I was such a girl." We both laugh, then there's a long pause. Tessa looked as if she was contemplating something. Then she looked up at me sad eyes and I racked my brain for anything that could've happened to cause that look. When it dawned on me what she was about to bring up, I felt like a brick building landed on top of me.

"Then there was Jake Tanner." She whispers slowly, testing the waters around those words.

At first I was fine. Then the dam I had built to block out everything Jake Tanner broke, and all those memories and flashbacks flooded my mind. I felt completely and utterly stupid because honestly? How could I not have seen this before? _No wonder Tessa and Amy think you're gay, _that inner voice snickers. I couldn't even argue because as I relived those months, even in fast forward I could see where the suspicion came from. I had put so much force into pushing all of that deep into the recess of my mind that I almost forgot it even happened. Maybe I was into guys before Cas after all.

"I-" I cleared my throat. "I almost forgot about that. But now I see why you would think I was gay." I laughed at the last part and Tessa smiled ruefully. That smile quickly turned into a frown as she reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek with the pad of her thumb. Shit, I hadn't even realized I was tearing up. I quickly rubbed at my eyes and sniffed before anyone could notice. Stealing a glance over at Sam, Gabriel and Jimmy who weren't even looking this direction, I sighed in relief. Breaking down in the middle of a quiet conversation would only raise questions that even after years I'm still not ready to answer.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Tessa apologizes, rubbing soft circles in my back like she used to. I shake my head, silently saying that no, it wasn't her fault that I was so emotionally constipated that I couldn't manage to keep my shit together just from mentioning the topic. "Dean, I know it hurts but... you can't just never talk about it. That won't end well and you know it. Look at how the mere thought of him affects you. It's not healthy."

"God you sound just like them." I spat, turning away from her. "I'm not some head case okay? I don't need some shrink braping me just because there's a part of my life I don't want to remember or talk about. I don't wanna talk about it and I'm not." Sliding off the bed, I turn slightly toward her but still don't look her in the eye. "I should go."

"Dean, I'm sorry I-"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Really." I hug her to make up for making her feel bad. "I didn't suddenly sprout a vagina so I'm guessing everything's okay." I give her a signature smirk when I pull back a little, but she isn't buying it.

"You sure?" The genuine concern in her voice makes little bubbles of doubt start creeping inside me so I decide it's time to just cut and run.

"Yes, I'm sure." I kiss her on the forehead. "Love you Tess." Pulling away from the hug, I hear her muttering a 'Love you too' as I walk over to where Sam looked excruciatingly annoyed as Gabriel poked him in the cheek and Jimmy was lost in thought.

"Hey Jimmy," I call to get his attention. "I think I should get Sammy out of here, so we're just gonna head out now. I can give you a read if you want."

"I figured you'd be staying until Castiel wakes up." Jimmy says, kind of thrown off guard. "I think he'd appreciate it if you would." The idea was tempting and was exactly what I'd planned on doing before I started feeling as if I was drowning in the memories of this place. I had to get out. Now.

"I'd really love to, but Sam has homework to get to. You guys okay here?" I can see Sam eyeing me from the corner of my eye but I ignore it.

"Yeah, I'll just call Balthazar to come pick us up later."

"Okay well when Cas wakes up tell him I'm glad he's okay and sorry that I couldn't stay." He nods and mutters his agreement. I stand there for a few more moments, wondering if I should voice my concerns about Cas' condition, but since can't stand the thought of being here right now I don't. It'll just have to wait until tomorrow.

"Come on Sammy, we're going." He gets up a little eagerly, probably wanting to get away from Gabriel, and walks swiftly to the exit. We were in the car pulling out of the parking lot when Sam decides to speak up.

"'Sam has homework to get to'?" He questions. I was really hoping he would just ignore it and let it go, but of course no such luck.

"Yeah, what about it?" I keep my voice level, no emotion at all.

"I told you I didn't have any homework. Why the lame excuse to get out of there? I thought you'd be firmly rooted to a hospital chair until you knew for sure that Cas was okay." He's staring at me, I can feel it. I struggle to keep my grip on the steering wheel loose and keep my eyes in front of me.

"I don't want to talk about it Sam." I say through clenched teeth. He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it and settles for staring out his window.

I breathe an inaudible sigh of relief, thankful that Sam isn't in one of those 'I'm not letting it go until you talk to me' moods. Only two people in this world know the Jake Tanner story, -only because they were there- and that's how I'd like to keep it.

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**And that's Chapter 2, people! Questions? Comments? Concerns? Drop 'em in a review below or even PM me if you'd like.**

**Important stuffs: In this story, Alastair, Ruby and Meg are all depicted as they're second meatsuits, though younger of course. **

**How soon would guys like Castiel P.O.V chapter, if you want one at all? Depending on your responses I'll try to incorporate your suggestions to fit my story flow so far. Also, I know some of things in this chapter may seem kind of filler-ish, but I assure you everything has its purpose. **

**Again, I am so sorry for how long this took and I promise Chapter 3 won't take as long. Hope everyone liked the chapter!**


	3. In Bad Shape

**So Chapter 3, and I know I took way too long. I decided to rewrite this as Castiel's P.O.V. so I could get your minds working on his part of the story, other than being Dean's love interest, and school started for me so that can explain the wait. It was a hard decision to change this to Castiel's P.O.V., but I felt that if this actually was written in Dean's P.O.V. it would give away too much too soon the way I had written it. So why not edit the Dean's P.O.V. you ask? It just felt incomplete without certain parts. Anyway, Chapter 3.  
**

**_Shout outs to MissMarie27, jesmille91, smp06185, jaxbox10, and LividDusk for reviewing! -ThatOneMsft_**

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**Chapter 3- In Bad Shape**

**Cas' P.O.V.**

I thought I'd never breathe again. Ever. So when the bleak darkness around me started to dissipate I might have gotten a little too eager and sucked in too much air. My eyes shot open immediately and I shot up into a sitting position. I really wished I hadn't done either because _oh god_ this pain was not normal. Of course, being the smart ass I was I flopped back onto the bed with unnecessary force and was rewarded with little black dots in my vision and a trembling left side.

"I would try staying still dumbass." I didn't even bother turning because even in my deluded pain induced state I would know who it was. "'Cause I swear if you move and the freaky twin 'I can feel your pain' thing happens again I will suffocate you." I did turn toward him then and he was scowling and fingering the left side of his chest, exactly where I'd felt all that pain a few seconds ago.

"Would..wouldn't you just feel that too?" I ask when I finally catch my breath.

"Probably, but I'm guessing I won't once you stop breathing." He retorts.

"Fair enough." I wince as I fidget slightly trying to get more comfortable with this tear-worthy pain in my chest and side. "This a fucking hospital, why am I in so much pain?" I wiggle my right arm, knowing that since I didn't lose any blood there had to be some kind of pain medication in the IV that clearly wasn't helping.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you have five broken ribs?" He bites out. I try my best to seem startled by the information, but I was pretty much aware of that even before Alastair decided to plant his Timberland boots into my side.

"Huh, yeah that could be a possibility. Where's a bottle of Jack Daniels and over the counter pain killers when you need them?" I groan. "Why is the pain medication so weak?"

"I told the nurses you had a high tolerance for pain." Jimmy shrugs. My eyes widen at his complete and utter indifference to the crippling pain that shot threw me every time I breathed. I knew he could feel it too, albeit not as strongly, but why torture himself as well?

"Well aren't you pissier than usual." I mutter under my breath, hoping he didn't hear me. The hard kick to my right leg obviously meant that he did. "Dammit Jimmy! What the hell crawled up your ass and died?"

"Apparently your secrets and lies." My entire body freezes, and I fight the ice cold fear creeping up my spine. I force my eyes to meet his fierce glare. _Breathe, Castiel. There's no way he could possibly know. No wait don't breathe, that shit hurts._

"What do you mean?" I ask as calmly as possible with icy blood pumping through my veins.

"You lied to me about being hurt. You pushed me away and told me you were fine. You promised me that you were okay and made me tell mom and dad that too. So now its gonna seem like I was just covering for you and my ass is on the line. Judging by your face you knew about the whole rib situation from the start, right?"

"Yeah." I sigh, but more out of relief than resignation. Jimmy being pissed about me lying about my injuries I could handle.

"Dammit, Castiel!" He stands up, brooding eyes gazing over my body. "Do you know how lucky you are that you didn't damage a lung or anything by hiding this? I swear you're so stupid sometimes!" He starts pacing around the room like he usually does when he's angry.

"Jimmy I-"

"Why didn't you just tell me? I would have brought you to the hospital myself if you didn't want mom or dad to know, you know that. Hell, I wouldn't have left your side in that storage room if I knew you could've been hurt worse."

"Look man-"

"Or better yet why didn't you just tell me where you were going that day? If you hadn't been so secretive I could have been there! I could've, I could've-"

"What Jimmy?! What could you have possibly done?" I yelled, tired of his stupid big bad protective brother rant. I don't deserve it, and it physically pains me that he's so compassionate and caring when I'm just the asshole of a twin who's been lying and evading him -and everyone else- for the last few years.

"I don't know, something!" He stops at the foot of my bed and yells right back. "I could've protected you, either time, and maybe you wouldn't be in a hospital right now! Instead you lied about an injury that could have turned fatal today! Why?" Anger and pain were evident in his voice, eyes, posture. He was practically radiating both emotions right now and all I could do was feed him more lies. More lies because the truth just wasn't an option.

"Because I didn't want any of you to worry about me! I thought that maybe, for once, our last week in Scotland could be peaceful if I didn't say anything! Happy?! Now sit down and shut up because yelling at you is fucking killing me right now." His expression softens and he sits back down beside me. What I told him wasn't a lie, but too far away for me to call it the truth.

"Okay I get that, I really do. So you gonna tell me the truth about where you went and what happened that night?" His eyes are pleading with me now and it takes everything I have not to give up this act and lay everything out on the table. But Jimmy knowing everything means he'll look at me differently, and seeing the raw emotion and genuine concern he's always had when it comes to me is just something I can't -and won't- give up.

"I told you, it was a bar fight. I was hitting on the wrong guy's girlfriend and next thing you know I was getting my ass kicked. I'm just lucky Crowley was there to drag the guy off me and get me home alive." He stares at me for a few moments, then turns his head and lets out a mirthless chuckle.

"You're relentless, you know that? That story's bullshit and you know it." It's amazing how he picks up on some of my lies and not the others. "The only thing that adds up is Crowley, and that's only because he really is the one who dragged your ass home at one in the morning. What were you doing with him anyway?" His eyes narrow as he turns back toward me, an unconscious action he's probably not aware of, like how people tell me I tilt my head in confusion. I immediately start internally panicking, he hasn't asked me that before. Luckily years of lying has me able to think of a bunch of bullshit on the spot.

Sighing, "Crowley called me earlier that night asking me to be his wingman and I accepted seeing as I had nothing else to do. When we got to the bar, it took all of fifteen minutes for him to disappear with some girl and he left me alone for a few hours. By the time he came back I was on the floor getting my ass kicked by two big beafy guys." As I explain, he watches me with calculating eyes.

"See, the Crowley part is believable because that does seem like something that dick would do." I choke back a sigh of relief, but my hopes that he would drop the subject were shattered when he opened his mouth again. "It's your part of the story that I'm having trouble believing."

"Jimmy please. Just drop it." I groan, ready for the lies and guilt to be over. This was supposed to end when we left Scotland earlier today and I'm still making messes for myself.

"I just don't see why you have to lie. We never used to lie to each other, I still don't." His voice is so soft and broken it makes me wish I didn't exist, so I close my eyes and try to will this awful situation away. What's worse, our twin telepathy likes to kick in at random times and unfortunately now is one of those times. I can feel how heart broken and crestfallen he looks, to a certain extent. "Why don't you trust me anymore? Just answer that and I swear I'll leave you alone about everything." For the second time in five minutes my eyes shoot open, but this time their full of tears waiting to be shed.

"No! I don't want you to do that. Jimmy I trust you more than I trust anyone, more than I trust myself. I-I just..I can't..." My stammering trails off and I was dangerously close to crying like a child. Then the door opens and shuts quietly, and a pretty brunette doctor walks in reading something out of a folder with my name on it.. I quickly scrub my face and eyes, making sure there weren't any stray tears. She smiles when she closes the folder and looks up, meeting my gaze.

"Oh good, you're awake. Gave us quite a scare there for a moment." Her friendly smile disappears as she takes in our expressions and the air-thick tension. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah doc, we're fine." Jimmy assures her with a bright smile. He easily flipped the switch and brought laid-back, easy-going Jimmy back to the surface, but I'm not as naive as to believe that he was suddenly okay.

"Good to hear." She smiles down at him and then turns her attention to me. "Hello Castiel. I'm Dr. Roberts." She greets me with the same friendly smile.

"I would say nice to meet you, but considering the circumstances I think I'd rather be anywhere but here talking to you." After its out of my mouth, I mentally kick myself for the way that must have sounded. Her smile doesn't falter at the seemingly rude nature of my statement as it would with most people, but Jimmy groans from his seat, eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm sorry about him," he sighs, earning Dr. Roberts' attention, "we're still training him in human interaction. Even after seventeen years he still doesn't quite understand it." I was seriously considering throwing the IV bag at him, but seeing as that would cause _me_ unnecessary pain I really couldn't afford, I settled for glaring.

"No, its alright. That was actually a reasonable answer." She replies between laughs. "So Castiel, I have you're x-rays here for you to see if you'd like." I nod my head, not wanting to talk and move my chest more than necessary.

"Are breathing and talking causing a lot of pain?"

"Too much." I panted. She clicks her tongue disapprovingly.

"The pain shouldn't be that serious seeing as the pain medication has been in your system for a little over an hour." Jimmy coughs and squirms in his chair as her eyebrow raises and she looks at him. He gives her a sheepish smile which she ignores and turns back around to me. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that has something to do with your brother. Either way, giving you a higher dosage of a stronger pain medication would be too risky. I'm afraid you'll have to wait eleven hours."

"So what you're saying is, even if I burst into tears and beg I can't have any more meds until five in the morning?" I widen my eyes and pout slightly, giving her my cute puppy eyes.

"Cute, but it won't change anything." _Dammit._ She starts putting up my x-rays, turning on the back light when she finishes.

From what I could see, my insides looked pretty bad. On the right side -which would actually be the left side of my chest- of the picture there was lots of orange surrounding the five broken ribs that were broken dangerously close to the center of my lung. Three of the ribs were cracked in two places, so I assumed those were the ones previously broken in the alleged bar fight, and the two below them each had small singular cracks from the Alastair kick. I whistled lowly at the sight. No wonder I was in so much pain, my chest area was all screwed to hell.

"The orange indicates the injured area, so luckily it only surrounds the fractures. The reason you're experiencing such severe pain is because of these three," she points to the three worst, "but while the other two wouldn't feel as bad on their own, adding their pain together feels a lot worse and your breathing is a lot more strained."

"Okay, but why did I pass out?" I remember it clearly. There was a lot of pain, then I just gradually slipped into unconsciousness, kind of like falling asleep. Dr. Roberts laughs a little and I tilt my head, peering at her curiously. What could possibly have been funny about that question? "What?"

"You two just remind me of my twin boys." She smiles softly, eyes dancing between Jimmy and I. "Jimmy asked me that exact same question earlier; same tone of voice, same facial expression and all. Anyway, the reason you passed out was because of something called flail chest. Flail chest is a serious problem that happens when three or more ribs are broken in more than one place. When you have flail chest, the broken area can't hold its shape when you take a breath, leaving less space in your chest for your lungs to open and air to flow in. It also makes it harder for the muscles to work well, so it's harder to take a breath. If you can't breathe normally because of pain or flail chest, you may feel short of breath which can make you feel anxious, restless or scared. You may also have a headache or feel dizzy, tired or sleepy. There's also oxygen deprivation from shorter, insufficient breaths. It could have been any one of these things, really."

"Is it just me or does all of that sound really bad?" I ask, suddenly feeling very anxious again. "And after everything you just said, why am I even conscious right now?"

"It's not as bad as is seems, and we had you on an oxygen mask for most of the time you were unconscious, until the pain medication could kick in and you had enough oxygen in your system to breathe on your own." Dr. Roberts takes down the x-rays and puts them back in the folder with my name on it. "Any other questions?"

"Nope." I answer, popping the 'p'.

"Okay. The good news is, since you don't have any signs of internal injuries we won't have to keep you here. The only thing that can heal a broken rib is time, and it usually takes six to eight weeks. It's also important to take the deepest breath you can or cough at least once every hour to prevent pneumonia or a partial collapse of the lung tissue, and lay on your left side when you sleep so you can continue to take deep breaths. For pain management, take your prescribed medicine, ice the injured area, and make sure to get lots of rest. Understood?" She lists everything off while intently writing in the folder, then lifts her head to see if I got everything.

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm going to send a nurse up here with your prescription. It should only take about half an hour, then you're free to go." She smiles one last time and heads for the door.

"Thanks doctor." I call just as she closes the door behind her. I open my mouth and turn to Jimmy, ready to continue our conversation from earlier, but he holds up a finger on one hand and presses his phone to his ear with the other, standing up.

"Yeah... Balth, he's fine... Can you come pick us up?... Okay, cool... I don't know, downstairs somewhere... Okay. Wait, dude one more thing! We need shirts... I don't know, because we're shirtless?... Just get us the damn shirts!" He slides his thumb across the phone screen, hanging up on Balthazar. He pockets his phone and casts me a dejected glance, moving toward the door. "I'm gonna go... look for Gabe. I'll be back." I nod my head in understanding, but before he gets past my bed, I speak up before I can chicken out.

"Jimmy, I hate lying to you," I start off quietly, "but I trust me I would never lie to you unless it was absolutely necessary. Besides, all of it is over now, I made that perfectly clear before we left Scotland. I-I know... I know you want to know the truth, but I don't think I'm ready for what knowing the truth entails. I'll tell you one day, but I'd like to just focus on moving on from that part of my life. I know I don't deserve it but please, that's all I'm asking for. I really need you to understand and trust me on this." I kept my eyes in my lap, speaking in soft tones because I couldn't get myself to speak any louder. If I had spoken louder, he'd be able to hear how truly weak and broken I was, and not just in a physical sense. If of course, he couldn't hear it anyway. There's a long pause of silence, and I was ready to accept the fact that he'd given up on me.

"Promise?" He asks so quietly I almost didn't catch it. Forcing my eyes upward, I notice that he was now facing me at the foot of the bed. His shoulders held heavy resignation, but he looked at lot less sullen than a few moments ago. "Promise that you'll tell me someday?" There was flicker of hope in his clear blue eyes, and I knew I wouldn't be able to deny him, -not that I was going to- no matter how much I'd rather kept this ugly story to myself.

"I promise." I nod my head vehemently, to which he gives me a small, grateful smile. "I promise, I swear, hell I'll even give it to you in writing if need be." His smile widens just a bit at the pure honesty of my statement, and I'm grateful that I had successfully been able to hold on to what may be my only lifeline, the only thing that's really kept me going through the Hell of the past three years.

"Good, but just know this; if you break your promise, I'll break your face." He stares at me completely serious for a few moments, before an involuntary smirk turns up the corner of his mouth. Then we both start laughing, like really laughing, knowing that that was just an empty threat. "I'm gonna go make sure Gabriel hasn't cleared out all the vending machines. When I left him he was already working on his fourth Snickers." Our laughter bubbles up again, falling back into our usual brotherly banter.

"Well if he goes into diabetic shock at least being here saves us a trip to the hospital." I say in between laughs, not even minding the pain it caused.

"Gabe? Diabetes? That kid's metabolism is faster than Britney Spears' first marriage." He does have a point. If Gabriel was in fact capable of getting diabetes, he'd have had it by the time he turned seven and devoured a whole bag of candy, three slices of chocolate a cake, lord knows how many cupcakes, and liter of fruit punch on Halloween. I was caught between giving the kid a medal for not vomiting after the second piece of cake and keeping myself from vomiting when I watched him swallow the third.

Jimmy closes the door behind himself, leaving me to my thoughts. A part of me was acknowledging the ever-present pain coursing through my body, while the other part came to the realization that I just made a promise I wasn't so sure I could keep. _Oh look, more lies. _Pushing that inner voice deep down inside myself, I decided that, no, this would not be another lie weighing on my conscience and my brother's rapidly declining faith in me. Not to say that I won't delay that now inevitable conversation for as long as possible, because I damn sure will for as long as I can manage. But, I will spend the time preparing myself for whatever repercussions come with the truth and trying to rebuild any relationships I may have let slip through the cracks of my barely-there sanity.

* * *

"Did you seriously give him a pullover sweater jackass?" Jimmy questions exasperatedly while I lean hunched over against Balthazar's car trying desperately to will away the pain that came with trying to put on a _goddamn sweater._ I'm no stranger to pain, but this whole broken rib thing is seriously off the charts and starting to piss me off. Usually, I could just push through it, go to my happy place and pretend not to feel anything to the point where I actually become numb to anything and everything. That just wasn't working this time.

"I thought it'd be funny to watch." Balthazar, my jerk-off older brother declares.

"You're...an asshole." I breathed inbetween spasms of pain. Apparently my never ending pain _was_ funny to him, considering he was chuckling from the other side of the car. Jimmy was standing in front of me holding the offending article of clothing he had rescued me from a few moments ago, a pissed off expression on his face. He didn't say anything, just waited patiently for me to catch my breath and for a sign that the initial pain was subsiding.

"Oh come on, Jimbo. Even Gabe thinks its funny." A small fit of almost successfully suppressed giggles chorus behind me from the side of the car Balthazar was on. As quickly as they came, they were choked off when Jimmy glared fiercely past my shoulder, then a car door open and closed.

Finally, the pain started to lessen from 'Oh god, why am I still alive' and back to the 'Please kill me now' feeling I've had ever since I woke up. Taking a deep breath, I straightened up and took the other hoodie Jimmy held out for me, this one thankfully with a zipper.

"Why'd you bring us sweaters in the first place?" Jimmy grumbles, pulling on the grey American Eagle hoodie. I gingerly slip each arm into my black Aeropostale hoodie and zip it up halfway, pushing the sleeves up to my elbows while avoiding any and all ways to cause myself severe pain.

"Because getting you shirts would've required going back upstairs, and I just wasn't feeling it. Those were the only things of yours by the door."

"You do realize we have an elevator, right?" He retorts, raising his eyebrows.

"I was in the kitchen." Balthazar shrugs, opening the driver's side door.

"Hey, things one and two," Gabriel calls from the backseat, "are you going to get in the car anytime soon? I'd like to go home and plot my next move." He rubs his hands together with a menacing grin on face. I get into the backseat, leaning my head against the window and slouching just a bit to ease the pain.

"On us or Sam Winchester?" I question as Balthazar pulls out of the parking lot.

"I dunno. Most likely both."

"Gabe, Sam grew like, two feet over the summer. Not to mention the fact that it looks like he packed on some muscle." Jimmy informs him from the front seat. I think that came as a shock to everyone today.

When we left for the summer, Sam was barely an inch taller than Gabriel's five feet four. Then, in the hallway today in a rush to make it to fifth period -otherwise known as the first class we managed to wake up for- I had to stop and do a double take when he called 'Hey, Cas' from his locker. The boy I used to look down at and have the urge to ruffle his hair like I do to both my little brothers now stood maybe an inch or so above me, but an inch below his brother's five eleven. Not that I keep track of Dean Winchester's height or anything. 'Cause that would be weird. _At least I'm not the one with the obliviously blatant crush_. Back to Sam, he was still getting used to his height, as he was kind of gangly and awkward with his movements, but one day that kid is gonna tower over us all, and no doubt be as muscular as Dean. Maybe even more.

"So? I like my prey in all shapes and sizes." He licks his lips and stares off into space for a moment, and I don't know, maybe it was the way he said it or the far away look in his eyes, but the car suddenly became really quiet and awkward. Balthazar, Jimmy and I exchanged looks through the rearview mirror, apparently coming to the same conclusion.

"Uh, Gabe. If you're gay you know you can tell us right? You know Cassie's bisexual." Jimmy blurts out awkwardly. Gabriel squawks and his head snaps toward the front.

"What the hell gave you that idea?!" He shrieks.

"I don't know. You just kind of..spaced for a minute there. It just seemed like-"

"I am not gay for Sam Winchester! I don't like him, he doesn't like me. At. All." Gabriel bites through clenched teeth. The flushed red look of his cheeks might very well have been from anger, but we all know they told a different story.

"Oh? So you're gay for someone else?" Jimmy smirks back at him, causing Gabe to turn an even brighter shade of red.

"No you asshat!" Gabe yells, kicking Jimmy's seat. Me and Jimmy just laughed while Balthazar immediately tensed and I swear if he wasn't driving he would've attacked Gabriel right then and there.

"Gabe I swear to everything I love if you put your filthy feet on the back of one of my seats again I will saw them clean off." I like hearing Balthazar's accent when he's angry. It's a lot funnier than when he's using his ever present 'I don't give a shit' attitude. Gabriel immediately plants his feet firmly on the car floor, a ponderous expression on his face.

"You don't happen to have a hunting knife in the glove compartment do you?" He asks nervously.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Balthazar responds.

"Oh nothing. Never mind." He answers quickly, waving him off.

"Okay," Jimmy drawls.

"Speaking of Winchesters," I've learned to fear those words when coming out of my brothers' mouths, so I don't like where Balthazar is going with this. "I heard Dean carried you out of the school. A real knight in shining armor, isn't he Cassie?" I could take a wild guess as to who he heard that from, seeing as the only two he talks two and were actually there are sitting in this car.

"Yeah I bet you did." I respond, glaring at Gabriel and Jimmy who were suddenly very fascinated with watching the town pass by their windows. "And can we not do this today?" I was still pretty embarrassed about the fact that Dean had basically _cradled _me against his chest. There's also the fact that I almost passed out in his arms. The thought alone was enough to have me blushing and really ruins the whole 'I don't care that Dean has a crush on me' facade. I could still smell the faint scent of old spice, cinnamon and something so _Dean_ that I just can't put my finger on it. Even masked mostly by the smell of sweat it was strangely intoxicating and I couldn't stop my body's craving to be near it again.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you didn't notice him drooling over you in the cafeteria." I could see Balthazar rolling his eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Oh! I almost forgot to ask." Jimmy turns and raises his eyebrows suggestively. "How did he react to shirtless Castiel?" Gabriel looks at me with amused eyes. He knows exactly how that went.

"You could practically smell the arousal emanating off of him." I groan, although there was a smile trying to fight its way to the surface. Part of me -okay more of me than I'd like to admit- liked the idea of Dean getting aroused just by seeing me shirtless. Kind of makes me wonder what would happen if he saw me fully- _no. _

"So when are you gonna give ol' Dean-o a chance? He's been pining after you since what, the beginning of eighth grade? That's almost four years, Cassie." Gabriel pipes up from next to me.

"I'll give Dean a chance when you three learn to stay out of my love life." I mumble. I was feeling exhausted, all the events of the day (the last minute flights, jet leg and oversleeping, fucking Gabriel ruining my lunch, -I still haven't eaten and I'm pretty sure stomach is trying to eat itself- Alastair and the hospital) were physically and mentally draining me.

"What love life?" Gabriel snickers, Balthazar joining him.

"That's exactly what I mean. My love life, or lack thereof, is none of your business. Why can't you you guys just be like Einstein and respect my privacy?"

"Manny doesn't respect your privacy, he just worships the ground you walk on. Though I'm not really sure why, flawed as you are." Balthazar teases.

"Yep that's me. Castiel, the flawed, rebellious, unworthy piece of crap brother of the family." Silence once again engulfs the car, but this time its more like shocked, slightly worried silence. My eyes widen when I realized what was meant to be thought was said out loud with so much conviction it caused my brothers to cast me worried glances. In an effort to mend the situation, I let out a laugh that hopefully sounded more sincere and lighthearted than morbid.

"Don't forget slightly off his rocker." Balthazar says, also trying to defuse the situation. I silently thanked him, seeing as Balthazar prefers to increase tension and conflict stealthily rather than help. I could still see the three of them were kind of tense and unsure of what to do next though, so I sighed and leaned back into the seat, trying to fight off the inevitable questions and concerns I'll be hearing about this later. I could completely and fully blame the exhaustion for this, but the truth is Balthazar's comment hit a little too close to home, even though I know it was a joke.

_What? Can't take a little joke, sweetheart?_ I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force that other voice out of my head.

The next twenty-five minutes were spent in excruciatingly awkward silence. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, avoiding any and all contact whatsoever. How could I have been so careless and let that slip? Now there's going to be even more questions I'll have to bury in lies and/or anger to keep everyone off my back and stop this from spreading to my mother. She promised she wouldn't send me to another shrink, but I wouldn't put it past her motherly instincts to go back on that promise if she thinks I need help like she did two years ago. The psychologist wasn't able to get anything out of me then, and after a successful but slightly embarrassing emotional breakdown on the morning of one of my appointments my mom promised she wouldn't send me back. But, to my dismay, the first few months after that incident were worse than being forced into therapy. Mom and dad buckled down on me, Gabriel and Balthazar walked on eggshells whenever I was around, Jimmy was turned into my personal therapist, trying to get me to divulge my inner thoughts and deep, dark secrets. I did open up about my feelings to him, -and only him- all while successfully dodging the whole deep, dark secrets part. Oh, and there was the whole new little brother who was infatuated with me, no matter how much of a jerk I was sometimes. It took at least three months for everything to go back to normal. Well as normal as you can get with our family.

When we were past the gate, I was up and out of the car before Balthazar had even come to a complete stop in the circular driveway. As I made my way up the house, -we don't really see it as a mansion anymore- I caught Balthazar's voice.

"I'd feel a lot better about the situation if you told me some kind of medication screwed up his hormones." He said to Jimmy and Gabe guiltily. His being guilty made me feel guilty. It's not his fault I have some serious personal issues that will probably haunt me until I die. Or until I get them off my chest. But, you know, dying before then would be nice, and really convenient on my part. Just saying.

I opened the door and sped into the house, leaving it open for the guys behind me. Not really feeling the stairs since my room is on the third floor, I decided to go for the elevator. I paused for a moment making sure I didn't hear any movement in an at least twenty foot radius. _You're pushing your luck here, Castiel. You know she came back today, just be glad she wasn't at the door,_ the voice I wasn't deathly afraid of hearing warned. There was a good chance it was right, but there was no way I was making it up three flights of steps. _Okay, if we're gonna do this, make a run for it. That way we'll just be a blur of movement if she's being all ninja-quiet in the kitchen. _Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I took off, ignoring the pain in my chest and side.

"Castiel Emmanuel Novak!" I think I made it a whole five feet past the kitchen. _Told ya we shoulda taken the stairs, _the voice taunted. _Hey__, that was a personal best,_ I defend. I backtracked to the kitchen doorway, stopping and smiling sweetly.

"Hey! I did not see you there, Missouri." I say innocently, hoping to avoid the wrath of our nanny. I love Missouri, I do, but she scares the crap out of me sometimes. She takes that whole mothers know everything to a whole new level of freakishness.

She puts her hands on her hips, staring up at me with raised eyebrows. "Boy please. You're just lucky I wasn't at the door waiting." _Ha!_ "Imagine how I felt when I came home to find out from Balthazar that you, Jimmy and Gabriel had detention. _On the first day._ Then we get a call that you were in the hospital unconscious with five broken ribs?! You boys damn near gave me a heart attack. I oughta lock you in your room on principle!" She reprimands, shaking a finger at me like I'm not currently seventeen and looking down at her.

"You are absolutely right. So, I'm just gonna..go." I say, taking large steps backward away from this room and situation.

"Get back here, Castiel." I sigh and walk back to the kitchen, actually entering and walking up to her this time. "Now let's see 'em." She says in a softer, more caring voice. Exhaling through my nose, I slowly and reluctantly zip down my sweater, holding out the sides so she can get a full view of my torso. She's doesn't seem fazed by the bruises, but the shine in her eyes says it all. I suck in a breath when her fingers graze lightly over my ribs and the more prominent of bruises on my stomach. "What I would give to get my hands on whoever did this to you." She whispers, shaking her head.

"Yeah, Alastair's pretty much an asshole." I try weakly.

I never try any of my bullshit lies on Missouri, knowing she'll see straight through them and call me out on it. She always knows more than she let's on anyway, so I prefer just taking in the comfort of her support. She never asks me what happened, who did this to me or why I'm reluctant to speak about it. She just helps me take care of the pain, physically and mentally, by being there. She's the only one who understands that for me, not talking is really what helps. Maybe not in the long run, but its what I want and she gives it to me. When we usually come home I spend the nights of the first two weeks plagued by nightmares, and in the wee hours of the night I'll make my way to Missouri's room and wake her up, -something she never complains about- and she'd take me into her arms and let me cry my eyes out, -my being a teenager be damned- however long that may be. Then we'd go down to the kitchen and have these hot chocolate floats she makes just for me, talking about anything and everything until our hot chocolate is gone. And after these little late night escapades that only we know about, I'd go back upstairs to my room feeling better than ever, all evil thoughts and bad memories washed away. That's all it takes. Hot chocolate, meaningless chatter and Missouri's presence.

"You know that's not who I'm talking about." She twirls her finger, motioning for me to turn around. I oblige, shifting the sweater off my shoulders so she can see the bruises on my back. After she grazes her fingers over those, I turn back around, pulling the sweater back up. Her hand comes up to cup my cheek and I lean into the touch. She has this alarming look in her eyes, like she knows exactly what I've been going through without me even breathing a word of it. Like she can see into my soul. She removes her hand, lets it fall back to her side and walks back over to the counter where she was making dinner. "I made some of those brownies and lemon squares you boys love so much."

"Where?!" I screech, already giddy with excitement.

"In the fridge, bottom shelf." She replies, laughing when I race to the fridge and wrench the door open with unnecessary force. Instead of just taking a couple like any sane person would do, I morphed into Gabriel and grabbed the whole dish, stuffing one in my mouth. I moaned around the chocolate-y goodness, having an orgasm in mouth.

"Thanks Missouri." I retreat from the kitchen, brownies in hand, my words having more meaning than one would think.

"Save some for everyone else!" I hear as I take the journey to the elevator. Now I fully understand why Balthazar hadn't even bothered with getting us shirts earlier. I was considering turning around and crashing on the couch just to stop this trek across the first floor. Luckily, my room is closest to the elevator so I didn't have far to go when I got off on the third floor.

I open and close the door behind me and turn my light on with my left hand, cradling the brownies in my right. I set the brownies down on my nightstand, picking the biggest one off the top and walk over to my bathroom door. Jiggling the doorknob, I find it's locked from the inside. Mine and Jimmy's bedroom are conjoined by a shared bathroom, so to keep from walking in on each other when we're either on the toilet or in the shower, we lock the other's door from the inside. So, instead of taking a much needed bath, I lounge on my bed eating brownies, - and totally not daydreaming about Dean Winchester, that's for sure- waiting for him to get out the bathroom.

About half an hour later Jimmy strolls into my room in just a pair of Hollister sweatpants, his hair glistening and wet. He throws me an ice pack and then straddles the swivel chair at the desk by my bed and spins around a couple of times.

"Mom called. She says you're not going to school tomorrow." He informs me.

"Mom's still in Scotland. It's not like she can do anything about it." I scoff.

"Ooo, rebel Castiel returns. Careful, she might sick Missouri on you." We both visibly shudder at the thought. Missouri being on you by choice is scary enough, but if she's told to pay special attention to you, you might as well hide in a corner rocking back and forth. He continues to spin in the chair, and I wait silently and patiently for him to ask the question he's going to ask anyway. Focusing my eyes on the ceiling, I count as each minute goes by. After about seven minutes of deafening silence, he stops spinning and turns toward me.

"Are we going to talk about what you said in the car today?" And there it is. Spoken like a true brain dissector.

"Nope." I reply, still staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay, then-" He was cut off the door swinging open and Samandriel stumbling in. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was messed up, like he just woke up. His tired eyes instantly brighten when they land on me and I couldn't help but smile.

"Castiel! I'm glad you're okay. I tried waiting for you to get home but I was exhausted." He says around a yawn, plopping down on my bed.

"It's okay, Einstein. I know the feeling." I nudge his side with my leg, a reassuring gesture.

"Hard first day?" Jimmy questions casually. Samandriel has a lot of problems with bullying at school because he's younger and smaller, yet much more mature than everyone else in his grade. He was skipped two grades ahead when he was in fourth grade because the kid's insanely smart. Hence my nickname for him, Einstein. Everyone else in the family calls him Manny or a lot of other variations of his name.

He sighs, "Like you wouldn't believe. You'd think after two years you'd get used to people. Guess it's hard when everyone around you is going through puberty and growing." He mumbles, flopping back on my bed.

"Pfft, growing's overrated. Unlike them, you're not gonna end up a garbage man or working in McDonalds." Jimmy quipped.

"Yeah, at least you're not a brain dead tool like most of the jerks you have to deal with. In fact, you are far from it." His frown is replaced with a shy smile at our compliments.

"Thanks guys." He sits up. "Are you still going to be able to perform at my party?" He asks me, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Depends on how I feel in three weeks, but I'll try my hardest." That seems to have eased his spirits a little as he smiles warmly and then gets up.

"Okay. I'll leave you two alone." He leaves the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Jimmy exhales sharply through his nose. "Manny's a good kid. It sucks that he's been through Hell and still has to put up with such bullshit."

"He has to put up with it _because_ he's a good kid."

"Still, it's frustrating. Do you think we'd go to jail for pummeling thirteen and fourteen year olds?" He asks thoughtfully. I considered this for a moment, then decided to listen to the voice saying it would be wrong.

"No, but it would still be frowned upon. We'll just get Gabe to do it." Gabriel may be a small guy, but he's a lot stronger than he looks. He's also really crafty which helps him get the upper hand in a fight.

We sit in a comfortable silence for awhile, just soaking in the each other's presence like we used to when we shared a room. We shared a room up until that whole mental/emotional breakdown I had two years ago. Since Jimmy was the only person -besides Missouri- I still felt comfortable around I clung to him like my life depended on it. It got to the point where one of us would freak out if the other wasn't within immediate vicinity for more than an hour. I guess that was the drawing point since after like two weeks of full-blown irrationality our parents deemed our relationship unhealthy and too codependent, forcing us to live in separate rooms for the first time in our lives. There was screaming, glaring and threatening for a few days before we finally came to a compromise; me and Jimmy would get the conjoining rooms on the third floor so we could live separately but still close enough for comfort. Once I got my own room though, I realized that the situation actually worked in my favor and would help me keep my secret. I regret the fact that it also made me pull away from my brother, along with a whole list of other things that were affecting me. That's probably why he feels so insecure about our relationship these days.

A deep sigh followed by a dip in my bed brings me back to the present. Jimmy lays down beside me, head by my feet and legs hanging off the bed. "Don't you miss this sometimes?" He questions quietly.

"Yeah." I answer truthfully. "Though I think missing it so much is the problem." He doesn't respond to that, just stares up at the ceiling.

"So about-"

"We are not talking about it." I reply tersely.

"Yeah heard you the first time. I actually wanted to talk about Dean." I raise my head off of the plush pillow to look at him, and his eyes flicker to me and back to whatever spot he was examining on the ceiling.

"Oh. Well then in that case I'd prefer to lay here in silence until I pass out from the pain for," I look at the clock on my nightstand which read 7:48, "another nine hours."

"So about Dean." He starts, causing me to grieve for the next five minutes of my life. "Are you going to talk to him tomorrow?"

I exhale heavily. "No, why would I do that?"

"He pummeled Alastair to protect you. I think that at least deserves some form of gratitude. He could have turned a blind eye and let Alastair break more than a few of your ribs like most people would." He insists, sitting up to face me with an incredulous expression.

"I agree, most people wouldn't have stepped up to Alastair. The only reason Dean did is because he's just not that kind of guy." I could think of plenty of other reasons why Dean attacked Alastair, one in particular, but that would mean succumbing to my brothers' side of what Gabriel refers to as the 'Great Winchester Dispute'.

"Says the guy who never talks to him." He retorts. Okay so he had a point. "I think that if you'd actually take the time to reach out to him like he tries with you, you'd really like him. Dean's a good guy. He's really funny, a lot smarter than he tries to come off as, he's the most caring person you'll ever come across once you get past that whole strong, silent exterior and being completely honest here, the guy looks like he was freaking sculpted into perfection." I almost laughed at the complete and utter seriousness of Jimmy's last statement.

"Here's an idea; how about you and Dean get together and leave me the hell out of it? You seem pretty infatuated with the guy."

"Hey, all I'm saying is if I were into guys, I'd waste no time getting into his pants." I raise my eyebrows at him, and he quickly changes his statement. "I mean that in the most figurative and heterosexual way possible." He raises his hands up in defense. _Yeah you better big guy, because the only one around here who's getting anywhere _near _Dean's-_ oh my god mind, shut up!

"I have no interest, whatsoever, in getting into Dean's pants." I lie for like, the millionth time. Too bad this is the one thing I seriously cannot lie to my family about. They're convinced that Dean and I would be a match made in heaven if I just came to my senses and admitted my undying love and affection. They don't need Dean's confirmation of course, since he practically has a huge neon sign hanging above his head that reads 'I want Cas'.

"Bullshit." He states simply, leaving no room for argument.

"I know I've asked this about billion times before, but why do you care? You, personally. Not Gabe, not Balthazar, not the three of you together, but you Jimmy." I inquire. This goes beyond shameless teasing, otherwise he wouldn't press the topic and try to talk Dean up.

Instead of answering, he turns away and stares intently at some spot on the wall by my door. He scoots to the end of my bed planting his feet on the floor and his elbows on his thighs. From my position on the bed I could still see his face, which lacked its playful demeanor from a few moments ago, replaced by the solemn expression I feel like I've seen too much of today. It almost compelled me to tell him he didn't have to answer if what he was about to say made him radiate anguish and distress, but for that same reason my extreme curiosity as to what that answer would be took over. With an audible deep breath he began his deep, emotion filled answer.

"I don't think you know how much it pains me to see you unhappy. You haven't been happy, hell since the beginning of ninth grade. Looking back on it now I'm starting to notice that that's when this all started. Yeah sure you have your basic, everyday happiness, but that's just the little things. You're miserable inside, I can feel it, I can see it even though most other people can't. But when you look at Dean, you know, when he's not looking or paying attention, there's this undeniable want in your eyes. We all see it. Well by all I mean the family because even mom and dad once hit me with an onslaught of questions about what was going between you two. Maybe Charlie too, considering she _is_ like family."

I smiled softly at that. Charlie is like the second sister we never had. She's been there from the beginning, and she knows more about our mixed up family than any other person. Well besides Chuck and Kevin of course, who our parents and even Missouri seem to be extremely fond of. My smile only wavers slightly when I catch on to the part where says my mother and father questioned mine and Dean's non-existent relationship. My dad was an all-knowing kind of guy and my mom was perceptive, so it could be understood. Still, it's kind of unnerving that everyone in your family has some kind of creepy insight to the well-hidden crush that no one else was able to pick up on. Especially if said crush was on a guy you hardly ever associated yourself with. Realizing that I let my mind wander away from the fact that Jimmy pouring out his inner thoughts to me I promptly focused my attention back on him. Then I also realized he had stopped talking, which is why my mind was wandering in the first place. Just when I focused back on him though, he began again.

"You once told me that you don't think you deserve a guy like Dean, someone so capable of caring because of the way you treat the people closest to you, because you were damaged." My eyes widen in horror, and I rack my brain trying to remember saying anything of the of course when I didn't, I started to mentally freak out. Jimmy turns his head to look at me and takes in my wary and confused expression.

"If you're trying to remember saying all of that, it was during one of your random drunken nights." _One of?!_ How often did blurt out this crap? "Don't worry, you didn't spill one of your precious little secrets." He says, with a small, humorless laugh at the end. He had probably hoped I would spill something while I was copiously filled to the brim with alcohol, and considering I have a high alcohol tolerance I had to be chugging down shots, beers and various types of liquor to have been pouring out those _very_ private feelings that no one should ever know about.

"Look, I don't know if that had anything to do with whatever it is you promised to tell me someday, -and believe me if I have anything to do with it that will be somewhere in the near future- but I think it's about time for you to have something you want, something that can make you happy. And I have this feeling that Dean is that something. I'm not telling you to jump his bones on sight or anything, but you can at least try to get to know him. Besides, you said that whatever happened is all over with now, right? So what's stopping you from at least talking to him?" I didn't say anything to that, or rather I _couldn't _say anything to that, so I just stared.

I knew his question was rhetorical, so I didn't answer. With a sigh he stood and looked down at me. "Listen to me, don't listen to me. Its not like you ever do anyway. All I know is, you're are going to go up to Dean and thank him for saving you from a slow, oxygen deprived death. No excuses, exceptions or objections." He stares at me pointedly, eyebrows raised, daring me to object. He turns to walk out of the room, but then pauses and turns back around, snatching the dish of brownies off my nightstand. "And I'm taking the Missouri brownies." He all but growls. I considered telling him she made his favorite lemon squares too, but I think we all could do without him and Gabe stampeding throughout the entire four-story house trying to kill each other.

Instead, I just lounged on my bed, soaking in everything my brother just said to me. On instinct, every fiber in my being was telling me not go there with Dean, that going down that road was dangerous. But then I remembered how crystal clear I had been about ending it all, about getting rid of that part of my life. Though the part about me being damaged was completely true and there was still a part of me -more like most parts- that feared my not-so long ago past and I was in no place to be in a relationship, Jimmy was right about at least trying to get to know Dean. After all this time spent avoiding being around him as much as possible and shrugging off his advances, both platonic and probably unknowingly flirtatious, I owed Dean that much. Especially after, as Jimmy so nicely put it, 'saving me from a slow, oxygen deprived death'.

As I mulled this over and finally decided that yes, I would make an effort to get to know Dean, I didn't even notice my eyelids gradually getting heavier. All the exhaustion from the day washed over me and I found myself turning on my aching left side like Dr. Roberts had instructed. It was really uncomfortable at first, but with sleep taking over I really couldn't be bothered with it, glad to be rid of the pain for these few unconscious hours before I surely woke up from some painful nightmare and resumed my nightly routine with Missouri.

* * *

Talking to Dean was a lot easier said than done. Avoiding him, on the other hand, came so naturally I just couldn't resist. I had a few good chances to man up and start a conversation, but ended up doing something else entirely. It had nothing to do with my being a chicken-shit. Nope, not at all. _Keep telling yourself that,_ that voice mocks and I had half a mind to mentally strangle it.

We got to school on time today, considering there was no exhaustion or Scotland to America jetleg. The only problem was that Jimmy and I had to carpool with Balthazar, Gabriel and Samandriel because we had left our motorcycles here in all the chaos of yesterday. Even worse, mom called and forbade me from riding my motorcycle until I was fully healed, and enlisted Missouri to see to it. So I couldn't even ride Veronica -Ronnie for short- home.

The first almost-encounter with Dean was about a few minutes after I set foot into the school. I was at my locker, marveling at the sight of my also left behind leather jacket that I had already become infatuated with, -along with Ronnie of course- when out of the corner off my eye, I saw Dean walking down the hall in my direction with Jo and Ash at his sides. Apparently my brain wasn't prepared for this rush of events and I practically stuffed my head and torso into my locker which would've hurt like a bitch had I not taken my considerably stronger pain medication. I heaved a sigh of relief as I heard his deep, masculine voice carry right past me and down the hall. Removing myself from my locker, I looked in the direction Dean had disappeared and was met with the laughing faces of Gabriel and Balthazar at the end of the hall. Fighting off the blush that threatening to tint my cheeks I slammed my locker and grabbed my bag, stalking in their direction which also happened to be the direction of my homeroom and first period class.

"Not one word." I growled as Gabriel held up a finger, lips already poised to make some remark about what they just witnessed.

Balthazar obviously dismissed the anger and threat in my tone, choosing to focus on the underlying embarrassment. "He's right Gabe. We wouldn't want him stuffing himself inside his backpack next out of embarrassment." I made some agitated noise that just sent them into a bout of laughter and then stalked off to my first class.

As if life couldn't test me enough, as sure as the sky is blue when I walked into the classroom Dean was sat in the back, laughing it up with Jo and Benny. I stood there, gaping like the world had played a cruel joke on me or something. And of course, _of fucking course,_ Dean's gaze lifted up to meet my shell-shocked one and an amused, though delighted, smile spread across his face. That caught the attention of Jo and Benny who also turned their eyes on me. Jo was sitting in front of Benny and Benny was on Dean's left by the windows, leaving a seat open on his right and in front of him since the bell for homeroom hadn't even rang the class was only a little over half full. The rational thing to do would have been to actually acknowledge his smile, walk over and take one of those seats, then proceed to thank him for what he did yesterday. And what did I do? I squeaked, _I fucking squeaked,_ though thank the heavens not loud enough for them to hear, and with the coordination of a baby deer stumbled into one of the nearby seats in the front, not looking back for the rest of homeroom or first period.

This whole obvious, make-a-fool-out-of-myself persona was more Dean's area of expertise, not mine. So why the hell had I suddenly become a fifth grade girl with a schoolyard crush by simply freaking looking in his direction?

Opportunity struck again at the end of the period. Yep, three wasted and it wasn't even second period yet. When the bell rang signaling the end of the period, the firm decision I had made to get my shit together went completely out of the window. I started off confident, putting my stuff away slowly so as to look like I wasn't actually waiting for a certain somebody to pass by the front on their way out the door. The plan was going smoothly, until Dean was about four strides with his long, adorably bowed legs away and dear god I did not just say that. There he was, four strides away, and all it took was for me to look up at his face and look like I wanted to talk him, but nope! I spun around so quick I think I got whiplash and started some random conversation with Andy Gallagher about Zachariah being a douchebag, which somehow got turned into booze which then ended up as him mentioning his party on Friday. By the time we were out of the classroom Dean was nowhere to be seen and let out a breath of both irritation at myself and relief.

Now, here we are. Third period and I haven't even accomplished a simple hello. Jimmy and I were leaning up against the old angel oak tree out on the field by the outdoor cafeteria, borrowing a couple of guitars from the music room for our free period. So far Jimmy hasn't brought up anything Dean related which I'm utterly grateful for.

"Considering Manny's birthday is in a few weeks I think we should make a final decision on which song we're going to do so we can start practicing." He says, absently strumming a few chords.

"We haven't tried singing them yet. We should do some test runs of each song and see what fits the best." I suggest. He hums in agreement.

"I finally worked it out the singing for all three, since we have the music down. I think my voice would fit better as lead for Breakaway, yours is a better fit for Fuckin' Perfect because its deep and has that slight rasp, and of course both our voices for Hall of Fame."

When we took a sneak peek at Samandriel's playlist of top played songs we didn't even question why most of them were there. He has a lot of songs that speak about to him about his past experiences in life, and trust me, the kid had been through hell the first almost nine years of his life. We had debated about singing 'Welcome To My Life' by Simple Plan because we both happen to love that song and it was on Einstein's favorites list, but that idea was given up when we realized it would probably dredge up old memories and didn't apply to the happy, free-spirited boy we know now. So, we picked out these three because we know that the now turning twelve Samandriel still has self-esteem issues, among other things.

"Let's test Fuckin' Perfect first." I state, tuning my guitar. "And you know we have to do the clean version otherwise mom and dad will kill us." I remind him. He rolls his eyes and agreed, briefing me on the details of who was going to sing what parts and stuff like that. When he was done, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, letting the words flow out of my mouth.

_[Me]_

_Made a wrong turn once or twice_  
_Dug my way out, blood and fire_  
_Bad decisions, that's alright_  
_Welcome to my silly life_

_Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood_  
_Miss 'No way, it's all good'_  
_It didn't slow me down._  
_Mistaken, always second guessing_  
_Underestimated, look I'm still around_

_[Jimmy and I]_  
_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're less than, less than perfect_  
_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me_

_[Background Jimmy]_

_You're so mean (so mean) when you talk (when you talk)_  
_About yourself. You were wrong._  
_Change the voices (change the voices) in your head (in your head)_  
_Make them like you instead._

_[Me]_  
_So complicated,_  
_Look how we all make it._  
_Filled with so much hatred_  
_Such a tired game_  
_It's enough, I've done all I could think of_  
_Chased down all my demons_  
_I've seen you do the same_  
_(Oh oh)_

_[Jimmy and I]_  
_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're less than, less than perfect_  
_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me_

_The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear_  
_The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer_  
_So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard_  
_And it's a waste of my time._  
_Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere_  
_They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair_  
_Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time_  
_Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?_

_[Jimmy]_  
_(Yeah! Oh!)_  
_I'm pretty, pretty, pretty_

_[Me]_  
_Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're less than, less than perfect_  
_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me_  
_(You're perfect, you're perfect)_  
_Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel_  
_Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me._

"I was a bit pitchy in the first verse, the second chorus was sloppy, and I was little too fast during the breakdown." I enlighten Jimmy a few moments after the song was over, my eyes still closed.

"Are you kidding? That was frickin' amazing!" My eyes immediately snap open at the exclamation.

I slowly turn my head to the left, silently praying that wasn't who I knew it was. When my eyes meet the impressed expression on the guy I wanted to see both the least and most, my heart simultaneously plummeted into my stomach and jumped into my throat. How that was even possible, I don't know. I guess opportunity number four just couldn't wait more than an hour and fifteen minutes to present itself. Dean was sitting on one of the enormous tentacle-like branches of the angel oak tree, feet dangling a few feet off the ground. He would have had to either climb or hop up onto the spot where he was sitting, so I don't understand why I didn't hear any sound of him approaching or maneuvering himself onto the branch.

Maybe I was just getting into the habit of not noticing things when it came to Dean, because even during my whole gawking session earlier I didn't actually notice how he looked. There were bags under eyes like he hadn't slept in a week, which I know isn't true because they weren't there yesterday. He wore an old pair of jeans that consisted mostly of tears and oil stains which, if I may add, looked excruciatingly good on him. He also had on a red and black flannel shirt over a black Metallica concert shirt, both looking like they hadn't seen an iron for a few years. Despite his haggard appearance, he wore an easy going smile that completely averted your attention back to his gorgeous face, not even noticing the white band-aid strips covering the scratches on the left side.

"Hello Dean." I say much calmer than I felt. Jimmy snickered from my right and I inconspicuously elbowed him in the side.

"Hey Cas. How are your ribs?" He replies, hopping off the branch and taking a seat on the grass in front of the both of us.

"Still broken." I joke, setting the guitar aside and picking up the water.

"Yeah I figured as much." Dean laughs, something out of place on his exhausted face but still as bright as ever. "You guys practicing for something?" He questions.

"No, I agreed to sing a song centered around the word 'pretty' for fun. I'm just that in touch with my feminine side." Jimmy responds sarcastically. Dean just rolls his eyes and waits for the real answer. "We're practicing for Manny's birthday party." Jimmy says with an eye roll of his own.

"Who's Manny?" Dean looks between us with a confused expression.

"Our little brother. You know, tiny, big clear blue eyes, stares at Cassie adoringly and ignores the rest of us?" Jimmy jests. I elbow him openly this time and he grunts in pain.

"His name's Samandriel and he does not ignore them." I say to Dean.

"So you're just gonna go along with the 'stares at you adoringly' part?" Jimmy queries, one eyebrow raised.

"If I denied it I would be lying." I state simply, turning back to Dean.

He's wearing an amused smile, and something in my abdomen flutters around at the sight. Now would be the perfect time to say what I wanted, you know, if there wasn't a herd of elephants stampeding in my stomach. _Suck it up and be a man! _My inner voice was so demanding sometimes. Still, I took a deep, inaudible breathe through my nose and started what I hoped came out less erratic than my heartbeat and pulsing thoughts.

"Dean, what happened yesterday... I really appreciate it and I just really wanted to say thank you." I rushed the words out, keeping it short and simple so I wouldn't end up going on a really embarrassing tangent about how he's a good guy and how beautiful his face is when brightened by the sun or some nonsensical shit like that. That seems to be enough for him and he directs another breathtaking smile at me.

"Eh, no big deal. I couldn't just let you get hurt when there was something I could do about it." He shrugs. "I'm just glad you're okay." He adds.

"Well I'm only okay because you make a wonderful human shield." I tease, a slight smirk on my lips. It's weird for me to slip into my casual humor with anyone other than people I'm really close to, but for some reason it felt really natural with Dean. Like, back in the eighth grade natural.

"Hey," he scoffs, mock offended, "I was more than like a...passionate bodyguard if you ask me."

"Yeah, because me being dragged out of a fight with broken bones and unconscious just screams professional protector." I retort.

"I'm sorry what happened to being appreciative?" He says with a laugh.

I laughed with him, but then sobered up. "Seriously, I am. And words cannot express how thankful I am."

"Yeah, yeah. Anytime Cas." His words were so relaxed and genuine I had no trouble believing he actually meant that, and that's what sparked a tendril of worry that I quickly tried to squash. We stared at each other, soft smiles starting the process of easing away years of tension.

"Okay, so moving on." Jimmy says slowly when our gazes linger a little too long on each other. "You going to Andy's party on Friday?" He asks Dean.

Dean slides his gaze over Jimmy. "First party of the school year _and_ one of Andy's? No one in their right mind would choose not to go." Dean was right. Andy Gallagher throws some of the most insane parties in town, ones that are talked about weeks, sometimes even months, after they happen, and are never forgotten.

"I don't know, I think I'm allowed to be a little hesitant since I was constantly hit on by some girl with more bald spots than hair the last time. I swear she looked like a cancer patient." That very insensitive comment earned him a rougher elbow in the side that made him fall to the ground and and groan loudly in pain. "What the fu-"

"That was a dick comment, you deserved it." I cut him off before he could finish his sentence. Dean was eerily silent and I turned to see that all color had drained from his face and his eye were glazed over. "Hey, are you alright?" I tried softly, but he didn't answer, just kept staring into oblivion while mist gathered in his eyes.

I was a little unsure and hesitant on how to proceed, seeing as it looked like words wouldn't bring him out of this state. The thing is, I don't know if I was comfortable touching, well anyone really, right now. But I guess if I was the one doing it, it couldn't really be harmful right? Not that I think Dean would ever do such a thing, especially the way he was right now, but with my experience you could never be too careful. Ironically, that burning need to protect myself from others both helped and annoyed the hell out of me.

"Dean." I call, and swallowing my fear, literally, reached out a hesitant hand and placed it gently by Dean's ankle, a safe place for both of us. He jolted away from the contact and I retracted my hand both startled and a little hurt, though I have no idea why. "Are you okay?" I asked gently, while he scrubbed a hand over his face and averted his eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He chokes out, scrambling to stand up. "I-uh. I just... I gotta go. I'll see you guys later." He says, swiftly walking away and digging his fingers across his scalp.

"What was that all about?" Jimmy questions, watching Dean's retreating back.

"I don't know." I answer truthfully. "But he looked kind of-"

"Bad." Jimmy finishes and I roll my eyes.

"I was going to say stressed, but thanks for that." I turn to look at him and he's wearing a smug yet proud expression. I resist the urge to roll my eyes again. "Wipe that look off your face."

"I believe that was the longest, most relaxed conversation you and Dean have had in years. It didn't involve awkward non-eye contact, homework, or school work, but you guys might want to work on your shady exits though." He seems pretty amused with himself at this point of conversation.

Ignoring the rest of what he said, "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, just proud of you is all. I mean, you've come a long way from forcing yourself into a locker." He says casually, holding back laughter. So I've just become sure of two things.

One, being comfortable around Dean might not be as hard as I thought.

Two, I'm going to be short of at least three brothers _very_ soon.

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**Again, apologies for the wait. Since I'm in school now I might only be able to post on the weekends. I'm not sure, but we'll see how that goes.**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? Hate mail? I accept it all, so don't be shy folks.**

**What do you think is going on with Cas' secrets? How'd you like the little inside look into the Novak family? And did someone mention a party? I'd love to hear what you guys have to say so have it. Or don't, that's your choice.**

**Thanks again to those who favorited, followed and/or reviewed!- _ThatOneMsft_**


	4. Author's Note

**I was planning on updating today, but I'm sorry I can't. I'm up to my ass in projects, homework and studying for tests and quizzes. I'm sorry I haven't been able to post in like two weeks but I'm really trying. So I'm writing this to say school is getting pretty hectic already and this week seems to be even worse. But, I'm gonna do my best to get Chapter 4 up next weekend even if it kills me. **

**In other news, since I left you guys hanging, here's a preview to Chapter 4.**

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**Dean's P.O.V.**

But honestly, the worst part of it all, was Cas. Cas, who after thanking me on Tuesday has made talking to me an everyday thing. Let me say that again. Castiel Novak was _talking to me. _I was finally getting something I'd hoped for for a long time, and now that it was happening I couldn't even enjoy it. In fact, it made me sick to my stomach that Cas was talking to me, trying to start the basis of what seems like a friendship. That I got a small spark of hope that we might be finally getting somewhere. Because every time this happened I would see Jake's pale face, or hear his resentful words from my dreams, telling me that I didn't deserve Cas, friend or otherwise.

Even more so the fact that he was right, figment of my imagination or not. That voice telling me that I didn't deserve Cas, or anyone really, was so right that I couldn't even be bothered to be hurt by it. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I want what I shouldn't have. Castiel, my friends, Sam, Bobby, happiness. I don't deserve any of it, but I still _want _it.

So on that train of thought, mixed in with the complete and utter exhaustion of the past week, the only desire I had was to drown myself in alcohol until I couldn't think or feel, until I couldn't see or hear Jake inside my head anymore. Until all that was left was the cloudy feeling in my mind that came with being drunk off my ass and the inability to remember what happened the night before. Maybe even until I passed out so I could at least get some kind of much needed rest. Which is exactly what I planned on doing at Andy Gallagher's party tonight.

But first of course, that aforementioned polite silence? Yeah that had to be broken. As is natural with the people I surround myself with.

"Hey uh, Dean?" Sam calls over the harsh sound of Metallica blaring through the speakers as I drove over to Bobby's.

I drum my fingers wildly across the steering wheel, mouthing the words in Sam's direction. Okay, so admittedly I was a bit hyped up on coffee at the moment, but that's only way I was going to make it through the drive to Bobby's without passing out and killing the both of us. Although I'm pretty sure it's not healthy, once I felt this morning's coffee high wearing off I made a note to get a grande with double shots of espresso after school. Now I'm pretty sure I was half-screaming, half-mouthing 'For Whom the Bell Tolls', while simultaneously learning how to be an expert drummer/tap dancer and by some strange miracle keeping us on the road. Hey, at least I can multitask right?

"Dean!" Sam yells, jabbing the off button on my tape deck. My body immediately stopped flailing when the mood music was gone, and I frowned at Sam's serious expression. Now was certainly not a good time for him to whip out his varying degrees of bitch faces.

"Geez, who shat in you're breakfast Sammy?" I question, eyeing him up and down.

"Breakfast was like eight hours ago." He bites his before adding, "Are you sure about tonight?"

"It's a party, Sam. Not really a major life decision in my book." He was silent and I glanced at him suspiciously. "Why?" He opens his mouth to answer, but then snaps it shut and mumbles 'Nothing, never mind'. "Well don't bitch out on me now. If you got something to say, say it."

"You're exhausted Dean. You try to pass it off as nothing, but there are more bags under your eyes than eyes, you're all jittery and paranoid and I know you haven't been sleep-"

"I'm fine, honestly." Lies. "You don't have to worry about me Sam."

"Bullshit. It's not even that you can't sleep, you just don't want to for some reason you're not telling me." I hate how he can read me like an open book, no matter how well I keep my problems hidden.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I say simply.

"No of course you don't." He mumbles thinking I wouldn't catch it. "But look at you, you look like a zombie running on coffee fumes." He eyes my bouncing leg, which I didn't even notice myself.

"So what's your point?" I ask, too hyper to even be mad at the fact that he treating me like a child.

"I just think you should stay home this weekend. You know, catch up on some much needed rest. Or in the very least, talk to someone." He suggests as I pull up in front of Bobby's house.

"Aw, listen to you being all mother hen Samantha. You better watch out or you'll sprout a vagina one of these days." I coo, turning the car off and pulling the keys out of the ignition.

"You're a dick." Sam says climbing out of the passenger side. "And you know what? You can go to that party tonight, drink yourself sick or even exhaust yourself 'til you die for all I care!" He grabs his bad and slams the car door, stalking off to Bobby's front door.

"Whatever Sam. I know you love me!" I call after him. He flips me off without looking back, slamming the door shut behind him.

_You don't really believe that, do you? How could anyone love someone so destructive? _Not-so-Jake's voice rings loudly through my head. _All you do is ruin lives, your own included. You don't deserve love._

I try my best to shake the voice out of my head, gulping down the lump in my throat. Standing here, alone in front of Bobby's house, seems to just fuel the idea that I am truly alone.

_You don't deserve love, Dean._

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**I'll take this down once Chapter 4 is uploaded. Until then, thanks for everything.** **-_ThatOneMsft_**


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